The Day Before the Morning After
By Shiaw Mei Mei
High Flight
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silver wings;
Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds-and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of. Wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hovering there
I've chased the shouting wind along and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace,
where never lark, or even eagle flew;
and while, with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
John Gillespie Magee, Jr.
It was more difficult than she thought it would be. The
There was a man that was standing at a distance with a contingent of black suits surrounding him. Sam hadn’t realized until now that the President was putting in a discreet appearance. The Secret Service made sure that no one got too close. Knowledge of his presence was enough to cause her throat to tighten slightly.
She stood at attention and saluted as the hearse arrived to the sound of Flourishes and Ruffles, as befitted his rank. She watched with dry eyes as the casket team secured the cargo from the hearse and followed the Air Force chaplain to the raw opened earth that waited. She fought off the lump in her throat as the funeral detail carefully placed the casket over the grave and the NCO In Charge adjusted the flag to a perfect tautness. She let her thoughts get lost in his attention to detail, trying not to think about the fact that that field of red, white and blue covered her father’s body.
She managed to maintain her composure, with only a few sniffles, as the chaplain performed the service. She almost cracked as he ended the service with Gillespie’s poem, the words reminded her of the aspirations he had for her. An astronaut… President Reagan quoted those lines for the crew of the Challenger disaster, the incident that dashed her hopes of joining that program but left her free to join the SGC.
Three volleys of weapons fire caused her to start shaking. The haunting sound of Taps never failed to bring tears to her eyes, even if it was just call to the end of the day. She bit them back fiercely as she watched the funeral detail carefully, reverently fold the flag. The shining polished wood of the coffin now kept her attention. Her father, the man that gave her the determination to succeed in anything that life could hand her, lay cold and lifeless in that wooden box.
She watched as the OIC presented the flag to the chaplain. She stared at nothing as her brother, as the eldest of their father’s children, took possession of the flag that was reverently pressed into his hands. She could feel her brother’s hand fumbling for and squeezing her left hand tightly. Their father died before Mark had a chance to see him again. Her brother, never comfortable with the military protocol, was obviously moved.
Through all of this, she maintained her self-control, to a degree. But then she heard it, the sound of jet aircraft approaching. All eyes turned toward the east to follow the fast moving aircraft as one jet peeled off and the remaining four over flew the cemetery in the missing man formation. Sam’s knees went weak. She only remained standing because a strong arm wrapped tightly around her waist and held her close. She didn’t look up at him because she knew that if she did she would lose it completely. Instead, she focused her eyes on the expanse of medals on the broad chest to her right, the ones slightly below the Silver Star on the collar.
***
Jack had been watching Sam closely. He could see her distress intensify and he took action accordingly. His arm steadied her but his eyes stayed locked on the coffin in front of him. So much had happened in the last few days. There had been too much to think about in the chaos that had ensued after the defeat of the Replicators, the death of Jacob Carter and the ensuing battle with Anubis. In addition, somewhere along the way, Sam had gotten unengaged.
Jack’s eyes strayed slightly to see Daniel dressed somberly, watching Sam. He had that slightly ‘oh, I just descended again’ look. So many things had happened while he was gone so it was forgivable that he appeared befuddled.
Jack glanced slightly over at Teal’c, standing next to Daniel. Jack could see the sadness and well of tears in the man’s eyes. Jacob had been a good friend to all of them but he had contributed to the freedom of Teal’c’s people in a major way.
He held Sam tightly as the benediction was given and people started moving around. Most headed for the family to give their condolences. Jack maintained his grip on Sam’s waist. He could see from the corner of his eye that she was extremely pale. He was worried about her. He was afraid that the shock of Jacob’s death hadn’t hit her until now. She was determined to be a good soldier and not let it slow her down but he was afraid that is was just too much for her.
***
Sam saw the lone airman take position next to the grave. It was his duty to guard the casket until it was lowered into the ground. All of a sudden, there were too many people around her. Breathing became difficult as she gasped for air.
“Sam?”
She heard Jack’s voice but she couldn’t respond. She had to breathe but if she did the sobs would escape, ragged, tearing sobs. She couldn’t let them out. She couldn’t lose control. She couldn’t debase the memory of her father by falling apart in front of his peers and friends. She felt Jack’s arm tighten further on her waist. Suddenly she found his medals pressing sharply into her cheek as his other arm encircled her.
“Sam!”
His voice was sharp as blackness threatened at the edge of her vision. Pain… She pressed her face hard against the sharp metal edges. Pain would help bring her back to control. Warm wetness coated part of her cheek. No! She wouldn’t cry!
***
Jack saw that Sam’s pale face was scratched and bleeding from the edge of one of his medals. “Daniel, get the car! Teal’c, help me.”
She was going into shock. They needed to get her out of here. The men moved swiftly as, between them, Jack and Teal’c got Sam to where Daniel had moved the car. Jack got Sam into the backseat as Teal’c climbed in the front with Daniel.
“Where to, Jack? Base infirmary?” Daniel asked as he looked anxiously in the rear view mirror.
Jack nodded as he used his handkerchief to blot at the blood on Sam’s cheek.
“No…”
Jack barely heard Sam’s protest. “Sam, you are in shock. We need to get you to the infirmary.”
Her head shook as she whispered, “No… please…”
Jack sighed and nodded. “My house, Daniel.” Unbuttoning his jacket to avoid any more scratches, he wrapped his arms around her and held her gently against his chest as Daniel drove slowly through the cemetery.
***
Sam woke slowly, warmed by a blanket and the fire in front of her. It took her a full minute to realize that she was curled up on Jack’s couch. Her dress jacket was lying across the coffee table near his chess set. Her shoes were tossed haphazardly nearby. The tie of her dress shirt had been loosened and the top two buttons were undone.
Quiet voices reached her ears. She strained to hear the conversation, to identify the people speaking. Slowly, she caught the cadence of Teal’c’s measured speech, Daniel’s rapid-fire dialogue and Jack’s soft-spoken words. She couldn’t make out what they were saying but she was relieved that they were the only ones here. She didn’t want to face anyone at all, but her three teammates, she could handle.
Tears welled up as the memory of her exit from the funeral returned. She had tarnished the ceremony, the dignity of her father’s funeral by losing control. Slowly the tears turned to sobs, the ones that she had tried to deny freedom at the cemetery. Long, ragged, tearing sobs. Once started, she couldn’t stop them. Pain shot through her as she gasped for air between cries. Suddenly, strong arms surrounded her, pulling her into a tight embrace.
She didn’t need to open her eyes to know who held her. The feel and smell of him was unmistakable. She allowed him to hold her, her own arms encircling his waist tightly, as tears ran freely down her face, soaking his dress shirt.
“I’m sorry…” she stammered between sobs. “I can’t stop crying!”
His hand rubbed her back soothingly. “Sam, you don’t have to stop. It’s okay to cry for your father. I’d worry about you if you didn’t.”
A buzzing noise interrupted her reply as her phone, set to vibrate, rattled in her jacket on the coffee table.
“Oh, God, that’s probably Mark looking for me,” she sniffled between tears.
“Nah, I’ve already talked to him. He understands, Sam. Everyone does. You and Jacob were very close,” Jack’s voice said softly.
Sam managed to get the worst of the crying under control. She pulled away from Jack to look at him, only then realizing that her tears were stained with makeup that now coated Jack’s dress shirt.
“Oh, sir, I’m sorry,” she said quickly as she tried to wipe away the dark spots, only to make it worse.
Jack’s hand caught hers. “No problem. I have others, you know.”
Sam’s breath caught as his smile widened. The concern, the love in his eyes was unmistakable. Suddenly self-conscious, she wiped at her face. It must look worse than his shirt. His hands raised to cup her face as his thumbs wiped away the last of the tears and some of the makeup.
“Think you can face the crowd at your house? Mark asked that you come over when you were feeling better.”
Sam took a deep breath before nodding hesitantly. She knew she had to but it didn’t mean she was looking forward to it.
“Will you be there?” she asked softly.
His smile was mesmerizing as he whispered, “Always.”
***
Sam felt relatively calm as she rode in the back seat with Jack to her house. She had no idea how many people would be there. She cowardly hoped that most had left. It had been nearly three hours since her abrupt departure from the cemetery. Surely, there wouldn’t be many people left.
Her heart nearly stopped as she saw the line of cars on both sides of her quiet street. Jack’s hand tightened on hers as it began to shake. It looked as if most of the mourners were still here. She wondered how Mark was coping with the strange group of friends that her father had made over his life. Especially if the really strange ones had stayed.
***
Jack held her hand tightly. He wasn’t going to let her get away this time. Kerry was right. He had issues. And this was the biggest issue in his life, not the SGC, not the rank or the career. That all seemed rather settled at the moment anyway. Anubis was defeated, the
She had broken things off with Pete yesterday. All she had told Jack was that she had made a mistake. There wasn’t much else to say with all the things going on so he had left it at that for the time being. He wouldn’t wait much longer but he needed to let her get over the shock of her father’s death before he went any further.
He held her elbow possessively as they walked toward her house. Teal’c hovered slightly behind them. Daniel had let them out near the gate but had to go find parking. There were people milling around outside talking, as the small house was woefully inadequate for a crowd this size. Jack should have thought to have everyone come back to his house. It wasn’t much bigger but it would have saved Carter’s poor yard.
He felt her press her elbow closer to him as several people recognized her and headed their direction. She was holding up well as they moved through the crowd. Her shaking had begun to subside and he eased his hand away from her arm. However, he stayed close to her side for the rest of the afternoon. He hadn’t gotten this close only to distance himself at this point.
***
Daniel watched as the last remaining well-wishers bid Sam and Mark goodbye. It was getting late and he was exhausted. He could only imagine how tired Sam was. He was distracted from his thoughts as Mark began rounding up his kids and wife to leave.
“Mark, we can make room here,” Sam was saying.
“It’s okay, Sam. I know you need some time alone. I already have the rooms at the hotel. There’s no need for you to deal with us here tonight,” Mark said as he hugged her tightly.
“At least let me drive you. There’s no need to take a cab.”
Daniel realized that he had the best solution. “Sam, I can take them. It’s on the way back to my place anyway and I have the SUV we borrowed from the base for today. They couldn’t possibly fit comfortably in your car.”
Mark smiled his gratitude at the solution. “Thank you, Dr. Jackson.”
“It’s Daniel, and you’re most welcome,” Daniel said as he found his jacket. “Sam,” he whispered as he hugged her tightly. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” she whispered back.
“Daniel,” Teal’c said abruptly, stopping himself from finishing the full name he was accustomed to using. “Is there room for me as well?”
“Sure, you can take the truck back to base with you,” Daniel said affably. He wondered if Teal’c was deliberately leaving Jack alone with Sam. Jack had made no move to leave. Jack must have read his mind as he stood up to say goodbye to Mark and his family.
“I’ll get a cab later, Daniel,” he said. “I’ll just help Carter straighten up the place first.”
Sam appeared a little startled at his words but covered it up quickly as she hugged everyone, including Daniel and Teal’c before they headed out.
***
Sam closed the door behind her as the big SUV pulled away from the house. She leaned against the door for a minute before rousing her courage to go back and face Jack. He had been extremely considerate and caring all day but why was he staying now? She had seen Kerry Johnson at the cemetery but hadn’t seen her since. Sam sighed and wandered back down the hall, pulling her heels off as she went. Her feet and back were killing her. Almost as much as her head. She would take a long soak in the tub after Jack left.
She turned the corner into the kitchen to see Jack loading the dishwasher. “Sir, you don’t have to stay. It’ll give me something to do tomorrow.”
He turned to look at her. He looked as tired as she felt. “It won’t take a minute.” He eyes focused on her hand holding her shoes. “Why don’t you go change while I finish this?”
“Actually, I was thinking of a long soak in the tub. Cleaning can really wait until tomorrow.”
He dried his hands as he walked over to her. His hand cupped her face slightly. “Then go, soak. I’ll finish cleaning.” His thumb stopped her protest by pressing lightly against her lips. “Make it an order if it makes you feel better.”
She could feel moisture welling up in her eyes as a lump in her throat prevented her from saying anything. She simply nodded and turned to head for her room.
***
Jack stood for a moment staring at the hallway as she disappeared. He knew he shouldn’t stay. Now wasn’t the time to discuss their personal situation. He just didn’t want to leave her alone. She had seemed so frail and vulnerable earlier. Completely understandable, but he couldn’t shake the concern. He sighed as he wandered around the room picking up the rest of the evidence of the gathering. There wasn’t much left to do. Most of the guests had picked up after themselves. He finished loading the dishwasher, cleaning off the counters and found a broom.
His mind wandered as he swept the remaining indication of the many people that had come to pay their respects. He felt unusually proud of the turn out for Jacob’s funeral. Even the President had been there. He hadn’t come to the house because the Secret Service would have had a fit. Too many people there hadn’t been cleared. Not to mention the aliens.
He smiled at the number of Tok’ra and
He had seen Kerry in the distance at the cemetery. She had made brief eye contact and a slight smile. They hadn’t spoken much since that day in his office and even then, it was strictly business.
He tossed the sweepings into the trash and put away the broom. He surveyed the rooms carefully to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. Scrounging deep into the refrigerator, he found a bottle of beer that had been missed by the masses. Tossing the bottle top into the trash, he headed for the couch. He had already discarded his tie and rolled up his sleeves. Unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way, he shed it in favor of the t-shirt underneath. He laid the shirt across the back of a chair before he sat down on the comfortable couch.
He was tired and should probably go home but he just couldn’t leave her here alone. Not yet.
***
Sam woke with a start. She had dozed off in the bath. She must have been asleep for a while since the water was noticeably cooler. She was surprised that Jack hadn’t come to see if she had drowned. Maybe he had left.
Quickly, she dried off and went to look for something to put on. She didn’t exactly want to wander out in her pajamas in front of him. She settled for her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt instead of her normal spaghetti strap top. Just for propriety sake, she threw a robe on as well. After brushing her damp hair, she took a deep breath before heading out to face him.
She smiled as she saw his head resting on the back of the couch. His eyes shut, his mouth slightly opened as he softly snored. She came around the couch to see the still full bottle of beer leaning precariously against his leg, his hand limp around it. She removed the beer carefully and set it on the coffee table.
For a moment, she took time to study his face. The worry lines smoothed by sleep, his long lashes resting lightly beneath his eyes. She never got to see him this calm. He was always so restless, his hands constantly in motion, toying with anything he could managed to snag. She gave in to the urge to let her index finger lightly trace the line of the scar in his eyebrow.
A gasp escaped her mouth as his eyes fluttered open. Her hand jerked back as if she had been burned.
“Sir, sorry…”
A lazy smile crossed his face before it was obliterated by a yawn. “Feel better?” he asked as he got the yawn under control.
“Yes, sir. Thank you. For everything.”
“Sit for a minute?” he said patting the couch beside him.
His eyes were soft and tempting. Sam couldn’t help but take the offered seat next to him. Tongue-tied, she didn’t know what to say so she just sat there staring at her hands.
***
Jack watched as her hands twisted slightly in her lap. She had to be wondering why he was still here. He was wondering it himself. He knew why Sam came to see him the other day. He wanted to talk about it. He didn’t want to wait any longer but the day of her father’s funeral just didn’t seem to be the right time.
He spoke with General Hammond earlier and told him that he was retiring as soon as the paperwork could be processed. George had already heard about Sam’s broken engagement. He had just nodded and said that they would work something out quickly. Jack smiled at the memory of George’s parting words. He had told Jack not to let her get away again. That was one order he was more than happy to comply with.
It was almost an involuntary reaction when his hand covered hers, stilling the fretful motion. She looked up, the surprise in her eyes evident.
“Why are you here?” she asked softly. Her eyes were luminous, partially due to the moisture that welled up there.
“I want to continue that conversation that you started at my house the other day. I just don’t know where to start.” He surprised himself by vocalizing his thoughts. He didn’t mean to start this now.
He saw her throat move as she swallowed hard. Her hands pulled away from his and she stood up. “I shouldn’t have come there. It was improper. I’m sorry.” She tried to turn away but his hand caught hers and pulled her back down on the couch.
“Sam, I’m glad you did. I just wish that we weren’t interrupted.”
Sam lowered her eyes to his hand. It still held hers. “I still shouldn’t have come. I don’t know what I hoped to accomplish.” She filled the pause with a sigh.
“Maybe to finish what started years ago…” he said softly. “Maybe to finally realize that sometimes personal happiness is more important than careers…”
She looked up, startled.
“Maybe this…” he whispered as he leaned slowly toward her, his lips brushing hers gently. He allowed her the opportunity to pull away but she didn’t. However, neither did she react. He moved away, leaning back against the couch. He studied her face carefully. She looked confused.
“What about…” she couldn’t seem to put it into words.
“Kerry?” he finished for her. “She’s a smart woman. She realized that I was in love with someone else.”
Tears welled up and spilled over. Sam’s bottom lip trembled as she tried to speak.
“Come here,” he said softly as he pulled her close to him. “We don’t have to talk about it now. You’re tired. We can talk tomorrow.”
“But…” she sniffled as she buried her face in his chest. “Nothing’s changed…”
“But it has. The Goa’uld are all but defeated, the
Her head shot up and her eyes met his, filled with disbelief. “Retiring?”
He nodded slowly. “It’s time.”
Her lips were soft as they covered his. This time he was the one having trouble reacting until he felt her teeth gently tugging at his bottom lip. Slowly, he lost himself in her open-mouthed kisses. He found his body reacting to her closeness, to the taste of her mouth, the texture of her tongue, her hands roaming his chest and neck. He groaned slightly as he pulled away from her.
“Slow down, Sam. We have plenty of time. And we should talk.” The look on her face was definitely one that he could get used to seeing. The desire in her eyes matched the way he felt. “It’s been a long, trying day. Maybe I should go.”
Her head shook softly. “We can slow down but please stay,” she whispered.
He pulled her close to him, his arms tight around her as he nodded. Things were settled as far as he was concerned. Her kisses confirmed her unspoken confession at his house. Everything else could wait.
***
Sam woke half cold. The half that wasn’t snuggled into Jack’s side. They had talked for a long time before they obviously fell asleep on the couch. It was hard to believe that they covered so much territory. Kerry was out of the picture, as was Pete. Sam thought that Jack had stopped caring when he distanced himself from her in the last couple of years. He said that it was too hard to maintain professionalism any other way. He apologized for causing her any pain. He had thought it would be easier that way.
She understood his reasons but if she had known he still cared, she might not have gotten involved with Pete. Not that she was blaming him. She knew that she wasn’t over Jack when she started seeing Pete. She just thought that she could settle for less. She had gone to Jack’s to talk to him, but regardless of how that conversation turned out, she had known that it was over with Pete.
Jack had surprised her when he told her that her father had talked to him about Pete. Evidently, Dad wasn’t pleased with her choice but he wouldn’t tell her that. Jack didn’t tell her exactly what was said but she knew her father well enough to know that he would speak his mind to Jack. She hadn’t pressed for information since it was a moot point. Pete was out of her life. Sam stifled a gasp of pain. So was her father…
***
Jack woke confused. At first, he couldn’t remember where he was but the slightly shaking woman next to him brought memories flooding back.
“Sam,” he said softly. As she turned her wet face into his chest, he realized she was crying. “It’s okay, Sam. Let it out.”
Sobs punctuated her words. “I’m… going to… miss him so much.”
He tightened his grip on her. “I know. I will too.” Jack felt his own tears well up. Jacob had been a good friend. Jack had been so worried about Sam that he hadn’t had time to grieve for him. His tears fell into her hair as he tenderly kissed her head. He rocked her gently until her sobs subsided. Her breathing steadied and deepened into sleep.
Jack let his own tears continue quietly for a little while as he remembered Jacob. Their last conversation had been about Sam. Jacob had been worried about her marriage to Pete. He didn’t think that Pete was right for her. He thought that Sam was settling for something less than she deserved. Jack hadn’t really said much. He agreed but he thought that Sam was happy and he didn’t want to do anything to upset that happiness. She deserved to be happy.
When she showed up at his house, tense and anxious, wanting to talk to him, his heart had skipped a beat. When he realized what she was trying to say, he thought he would literally have a heart attack. How could he have not seen her doubts? Then Kerry walked out of the house, Sam’s phone rang and the whole world went awry. And now, Jacob lay cold in his grave while his daughter lay warm in her commanding officer’s arms.
Jack felt her stir slightly. She couldn’t be comfortable and his arm was going to sleep. His watch showed that it was nearly two in the morning. He hastily wiped at his tears before shaking her gently.
“Sam, come on. You need to go to bed.” He smiled as she mumbled something that ended in ‘sir’. Old habits die hard. He eased up around her and lay her down on the couch. His back was aching from sitting in the same position for so long. His eyes stayed locked on her sleeping form as he stretched to relieve the ache. Shaking his head, he went to her room and turned on the small lamp near the bed. After turning down the covers, he returned to the living room. Carefully, he lifted her up in his arms. Her arms snaked up around his neck and her face was warm against his throat. She mumbled something unintelligible.
He kissed her forehead lightly as he carried her to her room and settled her in the bed. Pulling the covers over her, he stood for a moment and watched her sleeping. Tomorrow he would call
“Jack…”
His given name, at that. He turned back to face the bed, light from the hallway lit her face. “Yeah, Sam.”
“Stay… Here with me…”
“As nice as that sounds, it’s really not a good idea. I’m still your commanding officer.”
“Just sleep. I just… I want…”
Jack smiled at her inability to finish a sentence. He nodded slightly. “I’ll be right back.”
***
Sam listened to his footsteps as she waited. She heard the faint sound of the front door locking and saw lights dim as his footsteps returned. The hall light was the last to go out as he reappeared in the doorway. Faint light from the setting moon lit his movements. He removed his shoes and the belt from his dress pants but kept the rest of his clothes on. He sat down on the bed next to her. His eyes weren’t visible in the darkness but she knew that he was having doubts about staying with her.
“Please…” she whispered. She saw his head nod in the darkness before he pulled the covers up and climbed in beside her. His arms pulled her close to him, his lips lightly brushed her forehead. She felt safe and warm. Sleep overtook her quickly.
***
Jack didn’t sleep much. Sam’s presence was distracting enough but sleeping in his class-A trousers was not very comfortable. Sam had been restless for most of the night, alternating between snuggled up with her head on his chest and her back against him. She mumbled quite a bit as well. He would stroke her hair or rub her back and she would settle down in to sleep again. It had been an extremely difficult few days. SG1 was off for a week to allow Sam time to deal with the details of Jacob’s passing.
The sun was just peering over the horizon when Jack heard his cell phone ringing. It was in his jacket in the living room. As much as he didn’t want to move from his warm spot next to Sam, he needed to answer it. Calls this early could mean trouble. Carefully, he extricated himself from the arm wrapped around his waist and made his way back to the living room.
The phone had ceased its noisy chiming by the time he got to it but the caller id showed it had been
“General Hammond, it’s O’Neill.”
“Jack, sorry to call so early. I thought you’d want to hear the result of my conversation with the President and Joint Chiefs as soon as possible.”
“Definitely. Thank you for getting back to me so soon.”
“Your request is granted. It will be official by the end of next week.”
Jack was shocked at the speed that
“It’s amazing what you can do when the President is in your corner, Jack. He saw you and Sam at the funeral. I didn’t have to explain much. I’ll be back in town this weekend and we can talk about the details. The world seems safe from harm at the moment. You should concentrate on taking care of Sam.”
“I can handle that, sir. Thank you. And tell the President thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Jacob would have wanted it this way. I see it as doing my share to help him to rest easy. In addition Jack, neither the President nor I see any reason to delay things, if you get my meaning. Just be discreet. Goodbye, Jack.”
Jack stared at the now disconnected phone in amazement. Jacob would have wanted it this way? What did he mean by that? And not delay things?
“Trouble?” Sam’s voice drifted toward him from the hallway.
***
The broad smile on his face when he turned to her answered her question in the negative. She couldn’t help but smile back.
“No, nothing’s wrong. Something’s right. It was George. He said my retirement will be effective by the end of next week.”
Sam was in shock. “That fast? But how? And who will take over the SGC?” The smile left her face quickly. She knew what his retirement meant for her personally. That was clear from their discussion last night. But she couldn’t imagine the SGC without Jack. She hadn’t thought that far ahead.
Jack moved to her and wrapped his arms around her. “Me,” he whispered. “
Sam’s arms had automatically wrapped around his waist. “So it won’t change except that you aren’t my commanding officer anymore.” She spoke the words mainly to let them sink in.
“Uh huh,” he murmured against her neck.
“So next week?”
“Uh huh,” his lips vibrated against her neck with his response. “And George said that he didn’t see any reason to delay things. What do you think he meant by that?”
Her mind was working in high speed. He was retiring. She decided to interpret General Hammond’s words to her advantage. She began moving slowly back down the hallway toward her room, pulling him with her. There was slight resistance from him but he acceded to her unspoken request as she nuzzled his neck. Slowly, her lips found their way to his jaw. By the time they reached her bedroom door, her insistent mouth was fastened on his lips.
His hands caressed her back as they moved into the bedroom. The soft morning light lit the room as they reached the bed. Sam’s hands worked their way under his t-shirt and up his back. Touching his warm skin, her fingers traced lines over his scars and muscles. Breathing was becoming difficult as her legs backed against the bed.
One of his hands moved from her back around to her breast. Her lips lost their connection with his as she inhaled sharply. The heat of his fingers burned through her t-shirt but she wanted nothing between them. After so many years, she needed to be rid of all the barriers between them. She quickly pulled her shirt over her head. She moaned as his hand returned to her aching breast. Her knees went weak as his mouth followed.
***
Jack was in a daze. He knew that, technically, he was still her commanding officer but there was no turning back now. Sam’s bare skin inflamed him more than he could have imagined. He needed to control his desires. He didn’t want their first time rushed or fumbling. But, oh, God, he wanted her so much. Her hands clutched his shoulders tightly as his tongue played gently with her already hardened nipple. He felt her hand move to the back of his head as she encouraged his actions, pulling his face tight against her flesh.
He let one hand slip under the waistband of her pajama bottoms and cup her firm butt. He felt her weight sag against him as she exhaled sharply. Slowly, he pushed her loose pants down past her hips and let them fall to her ankles. He kissed his way up her breastbone to her throat as his arms wrapped around her waist. Supporting her weight, he lowered her gently to the bed. He felt her kick her pants off her feet as he lay next to her. His hand shook as cupped her face, his fingers tracing light patterns on her cheek.
She was so beautiful, pale skin glowing in the early morning light, luminous blue eyes filled with desire. His eyes filled with moisture, emotions bubbling to the surface. She was here with him. He hadn’t lost her after all. All the feelings of loss and despair that he had felt over the last year vanished. They were here together after all the years of waiting, longing, she was here next to him.
Sam reached for his face as the tears escaped his eyes. “Jack,” she whispered. “What’s wrong?” Her fingers caught the tears before they got too far.
“Nothing… Everything’s finally right.” He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.
***
She smiled and nodded, her hands pulling his head close to her face. She planted light, teasing kisses over his face as she turned toward him. He took the hint of her hands tugging at his t-shirt and moved to where she could pull it over his head. As he resettled himself next to her, she nudged her knee between his legs, pressed tightly against him, her legs entwined around his.
The feeling of his bare chest against hers was exciting but the hard evidence of his desire that strained against the material of his trousers was electrifying. His moans as she pressed hard against him caused shivers through her body. Tendrils of desire pooled in her groin as he pushed back. Their tongues entangled slowly as their bodies moved rhythmically against each other.
The coarse material of his trousers rubbed against her sensitive skin. She moved one hand between them, fumbling with the button and zipper. He rolled away from her for a moment and quickly removed his trousers and boxers. Rolling back to face her, she savored the feel of his lean body against hers, nothing standing between them, figuratively or symbolically. The regulations had no meaning anymore. His hard body pressing her gently back on the bed was the only thing that mattered now.
His long fingers slowly explored her body as his lips continued to engage hers. She moaned into his mouth as he paused at her breasts, alternating between teasing them lightly, kneading them. One of her hands covered his, guiding it to the places that caused her breath to catch. Her other hand moved lower, between them and captured the hard source of the heat that was pressing insistently into her hip. She smiled at his sharply inhaled breath as she stroked him.
His hand slipped away from hers and moved lowered. When his fingers dipped into the wet heat between her thighs, she briefly saw his smile before her eyes rolled closed. Her hand faltered as his fingers plunged deeper. Slowly, she resumed her movements in time to his.
***
As their movements matched each other, Jack found breathing was difficult. She was so wet, so hot. Her hand grasped him tightly; her thumb teased the tip of his erection as she stroked him. Her soft moans caused his excitement to intensify. He wanted her now. He needed her. His mouth searched across her jaw until her found hers again. Their tongues now joined the cadence of their other movements. Hands and tongues began to move faster.
Sam’s moans grew frenzied, punctuated with soft gasps as his fingers plunged into her, his palm pressing against her sensitive flesh. Her kisses became erratic, her hand faltered on his erection. He pulled away from her mouth to watch her as her body arched into the air, her cries signaling her pleasure.
“Jack…” she moaned. “Now, Jack, I need you… Need you in me…”
He didn’t have to be told again. He moved swiftly over her, pressing his erection against the moist heat of her opening. Her hands pulled at his hips.
“Jack, please… Fill me…” she whispered harshly. He could feel her body arch toward him, encouraging his entrance.
Slowly, he pushed into her warm depths. He could feel the contractions that continued through her body. He fiercely resisted the urge to plunge recklessly into her depths. He eased back and then entered her again, each time going slightly deeper, until he was completely enveloped by her. He groaned as she moved under him, pushing against him, her hands urging him to move. He was so close, he was afraid to move, afraid that it would end all too quickly.
“Sam,” he whispered as his weight rested on her, his lips near her ear. “Give me a minute… Please…”
He felt her nod against his shoulder as her body stilled. Her hands were restless, rubbing his back slowly. Her breathing was at odds to her stillness. He tried thinking of the most boring report he had ever had to read at the SGC, anything that would distract his overexcited body. Slowly, his control returned. He kissed her lightly on the neck as he began to move.
Her flesh arched against him as he slowly explored her depths. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist. He kissed his way from her neck to her mouth. Her lips parted as his tongue teased its way in.
***
Sam’s eyes filled with tears. His urgent plea only confirmed that his feelings, his desire matched hers. Now his body was moving slowly on her, in her. His mouth covered hers; a gentle tangling of tongues completed their connection. They were as close as physically possible. She never wanted this feeling to end but once again, desire pooled in her groin waiting to explode. This time she wanted him with her. This time she wanted their pleasure to be mutual.
Her hands ran down his back to his hips, urging him to move faster. She arched her hips harder toward his as he plunged into her again. She tightened her legs around him, coaxing him deeper.
“Jack… Oh, yes, Jack… Harder…” she whispered.
***
Her voice was in his head, urging him on. Her whispered words telling him that she wanted him to fill her, that she wanted him with her this time. His mind became totally focused on her words, her body, and the way that she surrounded him like a velvet fist. He raised himself on his arms and began to plunge rapidly into her body. Her hands moved to his upper arms. He could feel her nails digging into his flesh. Her words drifted up to him.
“Now, Jack… Oh, God, yes, now!”
And he was there. His vision narrowed to only her face before his eyes closed. He heard his own cries as the exquisite release rushed from him and into her. He felt her tightening and clenching around him, her body milking him, as he collapsed on top of her. Her lips found his, frantic kisses ensued as her body continued to shudder beneath him.
“I love you,” he whispered between kisses. “I love you…”
***
Jack was snoring softly behind her. His warm naked body was spooned against her back. She had slept for a little while. They had been physically exhausted before but after the intense sexual release they had experienced, they had practically passed out. She knew that it would only be a couple of weeks before he retired but she didn’t want to spend the next two weeks without him. She wanted to wake up like this everyday.
She had the week off to settle things after her father’s death but there really wasn’t anything to do. His personal items had been distributed between her and Mark years ago when he first blended with Selmac. He had no residence here. The Tok’ra didn’t collect personal items as humans did. They had to move too often and too quickly to worry about packing. Things should be calm at the SGC for a while. The Goa’uld were on the run and the
“What’s so funny?” Jack whispered in her ear.
“I just had an idea.”
“Do I get to know what it is?”
“Yeah,” she said as she rolled over to face him. “Let’s go fishing.” She was rewarded by a mischievous grin.
“Sounds like a good idea. What’s so funny about it?”
“Well, going fishing when I’ve already caught the fish that I want.”
He laughed and kissed her lightly. A slight frown creased his brow.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, I’m still your commanding officer. George said to be discreet.”
She felt her forehead crease with a frown of her own. “How big is this cabin you are always talking about?”
“Two small bedrooms, large living area. Why?”
“Let’s see if Daniel and Teal’c want to go. They’ll know something’s up with us anyway. They know us too well. That way it appears as if we have chaperones. It’s just a team outing.”
Jack’s grin was even bigger, if that was possible. “I’ll call them in a little while.”
“Why wait? Mark and his family are leaving this afternoon so we can catch a flight out at the same time.”
His lips silenced her words and distracted her thoughts. Jack pulled her tightly against him. She felt his erection pressing against her stomach.
“Oh,” she giggled. “I guess we can call them in a little while… Or a long while…”
The End
