Possibilities
Life’s Journey 5
By Shiaw Mei Mei
Part One
Jack woke up feeling wonderfully warm and at peace with himself. Sam was laying half on him with one leg between his, her face nestled in his neck. Her warm breath tickled his throat. Last night had been…well, last night had been amazing. It seemed as if every time they made love it got better. He didn’t know if his heart could stand it if it got too much better! His hand roamed softly up and down her back. She’d had a rough few days. She must be exhausted.
First, she had the transfer of Xochiquetzal to Tiacapan, then her father being ill and needing a new symbiote. Thankfully, Xochiquetzal had symbiotes available. Tizoc, that’s what Jacob called him, chose to blend with Jacob. Twice in as many days, Jack had watched the transfer of symbiotes. He never thought he would be happy to watch such things but both times, he’d been grateful. He didn’t want anything to mar his and Sam’s newfound happiness. Losing her father would have been a horrible blow after all the joy they’d found in each other because of him. It was bad enough that they had lost Selmac. But Selmac had passed on happily knowing Jacob would live on with another symbiote.
“Good morning,” Sam’s tired voice reached through his thoughts.
His hand stilled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He kissed her head.
“You didn’t,” she said as she rolled away and stretched. Her muscles ached pleasantly and the stretch felt good. She sat up and looked at Jack still lying there. His smile was lazy but it reached his eyes. She smiled back at him. “As tempting as you look laying there, I want to go check on Dad.”
He nodded. “I’ll go with you.”
They got up and dressed quickly.
Jacob was getting acquainted with his new symbiote. Since Tizoc had never been blended, it was a new experience for him. He had the genetic memories of Xochiquetzal so he knew what was supposed to happen but knowing and doing were two different concepts. Jacob was pleased that Tizoc seemed to have a sense of humor. It was rather dry, but he would learn.
‘Your species has made amazing progress since Xochiquetzal left your world.’
‘We have. And you understand the war that we have been waging with the Goa’uld?’
‘Yes, though I am not sure I can be a part of it. Xochiquetzal’s desire to remain neutral is strong in my memory.’
‘I understand but we will need to do what we can to help. I can’t just quit.’
‘I understand that as well. Your desire to free your people of the threat is as strong as Xochiquetzal’s. It will be difficult for me to choose.
‘Well, maybe we can find a way to compromise. I don’t need to be at conflict with you. It would be too uncomfortable.’
‘Agreed. We will find a way.’
A soft knock at the door interrupted their conversation. “Come in.”
Sam and Jack walked into the room. “Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?” Sam’s concern was written across her face.
“I’m fine, Sammie. Just getting to know Tizoc. I miss Selmac terribly but I know that she was happy that I took a new symbiote. I could feel it as she detached. I was at least able to make her happy in that.” The look of sadness in his eyes was easy to read.
Sam sat down on the bed next to him and took his hand. “I am glad you decided to as well. I don’t think I could stand losing you and Xochiquetzal so close together.”
“I know, Sam, I know.” His hand tightened on hers. “So, Jack, last I remember we were discussing a wedding in the planning. Since I’m still around I plan on giving the bride away.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way, Jacob.” Jack smiled at the thought of Sam walking down the aisle toward him on Jacob’s arm.
“Hey, kids, I’m hungry. What’s an old man got to do to get fed around here?”
Sam laughed. “I’ll go see about getting you some food.”
“Hey, what about me? I’m hungry too!” Jack complained.
“I’ll see about getting food for all of us! Geez, men…” she mumbled as she walked past Jack and out the door.
Jack and Jacob’s laughter followed her out. She couldn’t believe how happy she was! Her father would be okay. Jack’s new position as civilian head of the SGC allowed them to have a life together. She didn’t think that she’d ever been so happy.
Jack sat in the briefing and listened to Daniel and Sam argue over the importance of visiting this particular planet. They had been back from Tenochtitlán for nearly three weeks. Daniel’s name for the city had been adopted as the name of the planet. Jack liked having a name instead of the alphanumeric designation. Jacob was still there and he and Sam had visited him on several occasions as time had permitted.
Dr. Carmichael had given Sam a clean bill of health shortly after her return and she had been playing catch up with their mission schedule ever since. Sam was anxious to explore the possibility of naquadah deposits that the UAV had indicated. Daniel wanted to check out the ruins that were also shown. The problem was their two objectives were in opposite directions. Jack listened to them arguing a little longer and finally decided it was time for him to interrupt.
“Okay, kids, settle down. I think that we need to check out the objective with military value first. That is our mandate, remember? Find things to help protect the planet. That would be the naquadah.” Daniel acted as if he was going to object. Jack raised a hand to stop him. “Then you can check out the ruins. I’ll extend the mission time to accommodate both. SG5 can take the mission to P3X-903 that you were scheduled for after this one.”
“Thanks, Jack,” Daniel seemed suitably mollified.
“Thank you, sir,” Sam replied. She was careful to keep things professional at work. More careful, in fact, than Jack was. He liked coming in her lab and teasing her. She usually ran him out exasperated with him for the way he was acting. Of course, her exasperation was tempered with the knowledge that she secretly loved it.
“Okay, let’s say 0800 tomorrow for a departure.”
They all nodded and stood to leave the briefing room.
“Sam, lunch?” Jack asked quietly.
“Sure,” she looked at her watch. It was 1130. “Half an hour?”
“Okay,” he said as he nodded. He watched her leave the briefing room before he went to his office.
Sam couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she headed for her lab. It had been an interesting few weeks. She and Jack had managed to move most of her things into his house. It was difficult trying to combine the two households. Her computer and research materials alone were enough to fill a room. Jack finally gave up and cleared one of the spare bedrooms so she could use it as an office. He donated the furniture to a local charity. Part of her furniture went there as well.
The other bedroom was crowded with things that they couldn’t figure out what to do with. Not to mention her clothes took up way more room than he’d expected. She almost laughed at the memory of his face when they had started to empty the closets at her house. He always saw her in fatigues. He didn’t realize that she had so many clothes!
They had finally cleared out her house and it was now on the market. They still hadn’t finalized their wedding plans. It was difficult planning things when her mission schedule was packed. She had already been out of commission for nearly a month and a half. They couldn’t justify more time off when things were already backed up. Sam insisted on a vigorous schedule so that they could try to catch up. She missed him terribly spending so much time off world but it was a means to an end.
She made it to her lab and sat down to check her emails before lunch. The newest one on the list was from Jack. She smiled. She already knew what it would say. He tended to send her short emails when she got too professional with him. She quickly opened it.
From: Gen. J. O’Neill
To: Lt. Col. S. Carter
Love ya.
Sam grinned foolishly, as she clicked on the reply button. She typed a quick message and sent it. She ran through the other emails quickly and got up to meet Jack for lunch.
Sam was tired. It was late and she knew she needed some rest before tomorrow’s mission but she had so many things she was behind on. New technology had been brought back while she was absent. As well as things she’d been working on before the mission to Tenochtitlán. She rubbed her aching neck. She was surprised that Jack hadn’t come to force her to go home.
“Hey, what cha doin’,” Jack’s voice came from the doorway.
Sam laughed. “Working!”
“What’s so funny?”
“I was just wondering when you’d show up.”
“Ah, and now that I have,” he said as he walked over behind her and let his hands take the place of hers massaging her neck.
“I guess it’s time to go home.” She let him rub the tension out of her neck. His hands felt so good. “That feels good.”
He leaned forward and planted a loving kiss on her neck. “Then let’s go home. I can do a much better job of this there.”
Sam shut off her computer. “I’ll hold you to it!”
Part Two
They pulled up to the house in Jack’s truck. It didn’t make sense to take two cars to work but Sam still felt slightly uncomfortable with it. She was having a harder time adjusting to the newly found freedom than Jack. Fortunately, Pete seemed to have disappeared. She hoped that meant he had given up and returned to
Sam climbed out of the truck and headed to the door. Jack wasn’t far behind her. A rustling noise in the bushes near the porch caught their attention. A shadowy figure stepped into view. Jack and Sam both tensed, ready for trouble.
“I should have known…” Pete’s voice was filled with anger.
“Pete!” Sam gasped.
“O’Neill wanted you for himself. That’s why he acted the way he did. They kept telling me you were on a long-term mission. Now I see why. He wanted to keep you away from me.”
“Pete,” Sam sighed, “I was on a long term mission. I just got back a few weeks ago.”
“Yeah, and I noticed your house was for sale. Moved in with him already? So soon after we split up? You like that, O’Neill, knowing she was screwing me a few weeks ago!”
That was the wrong thing to say. Jack lunged at him. Pete was expecting it but didn’t expect the ferocity of the attack. Jack landed a vicious punch to his jaw, sending Pete flying. Jack moved in for another punch but Sam caught his arm.
“Don’t, Jack. Don’t. It’s not worth it. Go in the house. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Pete stood slowly as Jack backed away. Jack snuck a look at Sam before he walked toward the porch. “I wouldn’t try anything, Shanahan. I’ll be watching.”
Sam sighed heavily. She should have known that it had been too easy. She looked at Pete. “That was unnecessary.”
“Why? It’s the truth. I thought you loved me, or at least cared about me. I never thought you were just using me.”
“I wasn’t using you. I do care about you but not the way I am supposed to, not they way you care about someone you are going to marry.”
“But him… You care about him that way?”
“Yes. I have for years but the relationship was impossible. The regulations forbid it and neither of us could leave the program. It was too important.”
“So I was just something to occupy your time?”
“No,” she closed her eyes and shook her head. “You were not that. I thought I was past it. I thought that I could start a life and you came along… Well, you were… I thought that we could make it. I would never have intentionally used you like that.”
“So what changed?”
“I realized that I wasn’t…over him. It wasn’t fair to you. It wasn’t fair to me. I had planned to break things off the night of the dinner with my father but things didn’t work out the way I planned. I got angry when I found out about you following me. I was going to talk to you about it once I had calmed down and then you followed me again! After that, I went on a mission that ended up taking nearly a month. When I got back you seemed to be gone.”
“Yeah, well, I gave up and went back to
“He retired. The regulations no longer apply.” Sam’s voice was quiet. “I’m sorry things turned out this way. I’m sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention.”
She could see the moisture in his eyes from the light on the porch. He nodded, unable to trust himself to speak. Finally, he turned and walked away. She watched as he headed down the street toward his car. She waited until he drove away before going in the house.
Jack was waiting by the window cradling his hand. Sam noticed he was favoring it. She walked past him into the kitchen, put some ice in a towel and handed it to him. She started to walk past him toward the bedroom.
He applied the makeshift ice pack to his knuckles. “I’m sorry, Sam. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”
“It’s alright. I just wish…”
“What?”
“I just wish that I had never gotten involved with him. I hurt him. I never wanted to do that. I thought I could get over you and in the end, I used him. I feel bad about that but I can’t change it. I just hope he’s okay.”
Jack just nodded and let her continue toward the bedroom. He didn’t know whether to follow her or give her some privacy. Shortly he heard the shower running. He decided to give her some privacy so he went into the living room and sat on the couch. He was so angry by what Shanahan had said. It was true that she had been intimately involved with the man but Jack preferred not to be reminded of it.
He let out a heavy sigh. He knew a lot of his anger stemmed from jealousy. Sam had been able to have the open relationship with Shanahan that he’d been denied for years. Now that all of that was over, he should feel sorry for the guy. If Sam left him for another man… Well, he didn’t think that he would ever get over it.
He heard the shower stop. Again, he debated on whether to join her in the bedroom or just wait. She was upset but he didn’t quite know how to comfort her when what she was upset over was Shanahan. He was still sitting there when she appeared in one of his t-shirts, her hair still damp.
“I guess the damage to your hand means I don’t get my neck rub.” Jack’s relief was visible. Sam had to laugh. “I was upset with you, and with him, but I have no intention of letting it get in the way of us. You can stop looking so relieved.”
Jack smiled back as she curled up on the couch next to him. He moved his arm around her shoulders. “I just don’t want anything to spoil what we have. Especially any regrets you might have…” He let his voice trail away. He’d said more than he meant to.
“Jack O’Neill!” Her head came up to glare at him. “The only thing I regret about Pete is that I ever dated him in the first place. I realize now that I was just trying to get over you. I feel bad for him, that I hurt him but I’m not going anywhere.”
Jack squeezed her tight. “Good,” he whispered. “I couldn’t live without you!” His wounded hand moved to caress her cheek. “I love you.”
She turned her face to nuzzle his palm and lightly kissed it. “I love you. The only thing I regret about us is that we wasted so much time getting to where we are now.”
The feel of her breath, her lips against his palm sent shivers down his back. She gently embraced his hand and moved it slightly from her face before kissing his wrist. Her tongue lightly flicked against the skin. She moved back to his palm, her tongue tasting him. She turned it over and kissed the bruised knuckles, before nipping her way lightly down his index finger. He watched with parted lips, breathlessly as she slowly sucked at the tip of his finger. She drew the long elegant finger into her mouth, teasing it with her tongue.
Jack groaned at the suggestiveness of her actions. Her eyes watched him with a mischievous look on her face. She released his index finger and repeated her actions on his middle finger. He shifted uncomfortably as his slacks grew tighter with his arousal. Sam slowly moved her body without releasing his finger until she was facing him. She placed one foot on the floor and the other, with her knee bent against the back of the couch. His eyes dropped to the apex of her thighs to find she wasn’t wearing anything under that t-shirt.
She wet his finger carefully before removing it from her mouth and placing it between her legs. Her hands pulled her shirt over her head and revealed her succulent body to his gaze. Jack’s hand came to life, released from the stasis that her actions had placed him in. She reached for his face. His finger slid easily into her as he leaned forward to take her mouth. She gasped into his mouth as his thumb found her sensitive flesh and his finger probed her depths.
“Oh, God, woman, do you have any idea what you do to me?”
Sam giggled slightly as she reached down to caress the bulge in his slacks. “I think I do, actually.”
He groaned as he captured her lips again. Her hands sought to release him from his clothes. Her fingers slid down the zipper slowly, torturing him with her nails as she did. She reached inside his briefs and wrapped her fingers around his erection. His breath hissed as she began to stroke him slowly. She drew back and bit her lip as his fingers moved faster inside her. He felt her grip on him loosen as her face and chest grew flushed. He could tell she was on the edge of orgasm. He loved watching her like this. Her breath grew shallow and her soft moans and whispers of encouragement drove him to pursue her satisfaction vigorously.
Sam felt her hand lose its grip on him as a fire started in her depths and spread over her body. She grabbed at Jack’s shoulders, digging in her nails as she felt the pleasure start to consume her. He dipped his head to her chest and teased the rigid nipple of her breast with his tongue and teeth as she cried out.
“Oh…yes…Jack…” she panted as he pushed her over the edge. Her body shuddered as her grip tightened on his shoulders. His mouth found its way up to her lips, sucking lightly at her mouth before he pulled her into a deep kiss. She slowly found herself returning to earth as his mouth overwhelmed hers. “Oh…yeah…” she whispered. “Of course, turnabout’s fair play,” she growled in his ear.
She pushed him away and pulled his shirt over his head. She pressed her hands against his chest and forced him down on to the couch. She reached for his partially exposed erection and stroked it lightly before tugging at his slacks and briefs. He willingly lifted his hips to allow her to pull them off. Her hands reached immediately to stroke him. This time, more sure, more firmly. He groaned as she knelt between his legs and bowed her head to taste him.
Her tongue was like a brand on his skin, a hot, wet brand. He clutched at the couch cushions trying to find something to hang on to. Finally, he gave up and tangled his fingers in her hair. Her mouth was causing shivers up and down his body. Her hands cupped and held him as her lips and tongue worked to drive him mad with desire. He could feel every touch, every stroke as if that were the only part of his body with feeling. He pulled at her hair slightly. He needed her, he wanted her and he wanted to feel her body on his.
“Sam,” his voice croaked to life. “Please, Sam…I need…you.”
She moved swiftly up his body and impaled herself on him. “You need this, Jack?” she whispered as she moved on him, stroking him with her body.
“Oh, God…yes…” his words were almost inaudible.
“I can’t hear you, Jack. Do you need this?” She moved up and down on him slowly.
“Yes…oh, Sam…yes…” his dry throat made words difficult. He licked his lips and swallowed. “Yes… Sam…I need you.”
She smiled at the power she had over him. She loved seeing him out of control with need for her. They had hidden their desire for so long. Seeing him this way made her ache for him. She began moving faster, harder on him. She tried to maintain a steady rhythm but her own desire got in the way of her control. She felt his fingers dig into her hips as he helped to steady her.
“I need…you, too…Jack…” she whispered. “I need you…now.” Her body arched as she felt her second orgasm start. He understood what she wanted and grasped her harder as he raised his body to meet hers. He felt his own pleasure begin as several thrusts later he joined her.
“Oh…Jack…,” she moaned as she fell forward onto his chest. Her damp hair teased his mouth. He leaned his head forward and tasted the sweat on her neck. He wrapped his arms around her as their bodies continued to shudder against each other in the aftermath of their lovemaking.
Jack reached to the back of the couch and pulled an afghan down over them. He had no desire, or strength, to move. He wanted to hold her here forever. She moved slightly so that the majority of her weight rested beside him and against the back of the couch. Her face snuggled into his neck.
“You have the most amazing effect on me,” he whispered as he kissed her head.
“And you think you don’t on me?” Her breath tickled his neck as she laughed.
They lay listening to each other’s heartbeat until they fell fast asleep.
Part Three
Jack watched the gate glow as Sam led SG1 up the ramp for their mission. They would be gone for at least five days. Jack hated it when Sam was gone. He had rapidly become addicted to her sleeping cuddled up next to him. He had trouble sleeping when she was gone. Most of the time, he just stayed on base in his quarters when she was off world instead of going home. At least he felt like he was closer to her that way. Stupid, but true.
He sighed as the gate snapped shut and turned to go to his office. He had paperwork waiting. Can’t keep the paperwork waiting!
Sam was feeling really tired. The march to the naquadah readings was long but she shouldn’t be feeling this tired. She shouldn’t have slept on the couch last night. She smiled at the memory of last night’s activities. Jack brought out wantonness in her that she had never imagined was there. She loved being able to make him so crazy and out of control.
She stopped to catch her breath. “Let’s take five, guys.” She found a convenient fallen log and sat down.
“Sam, are you okay? You looked flushed.” Daniel looked closely at her as he sat down next to her.
“Just a little tired. We fell asleep on the couch last night. Probably didn’t rest as well as sleeping in the bed.”
Daniel laughed and accepted her explanation. He decided to keep an eye on her though. Teal’c stood nearby watching the exchange between his two friends. Colonel Carter did look rather tired. Teal’c didn’t accept her explanation either and vowed to watch her as well. Neither man realized the other’s concern.
Sam let them rest for a quarter hour and then forced herself up to continue. “Let’s go, guys. I want to get there before dark.”
They both nodded and followed.
Sam let the guys set up the tents. She was so tired. She couldn’t believe that sleeping on the couch could cause this. Something must be wrong. She’d passed her pre-mission physical and a post mission one, just three days ago. If there were anything wrong, surely Dr. Carmichael would have caught it.
Daniel whispered softly to Teal’c as they set up camp. “Something’s wrong with her.”
“I agree. She is far too tired for the walk that we made today.”
“She always takes the mid-watch. Let’s split it and let her sleep tonight.”
Teal’c nodded his agreement.
Daniel heated up the MRE’s and went to take some to Sam, only to find her asleep against the tree. He shook her slightly. “Sam, wake up. You need to eat.”
She groaned and then reached for her P-90.
“Sam, it’s me, Daniel.”
“What’s wrong?” she looked around confused.
“You fell asleep. Here eat something and then hit the sack. I’ll take first watch.”
She yawned and nodded as she took the food from him. “I’ll take second watch.”
Sam ate quickly. She was starving. “Okay, Daniel, I’m going to sleep. Wake me in three hours.”
Daniel just nodded although he did not intend to do that. Teal’c came over and sat near Daniel. He didn’t want Sam to hear their conversation.
“She appears extremely tired. I have never known Colonel Carter to fall asleep like that when she is on duty.”
“I know. Something’s wrong. We will get the survey done early and head back to the gate. The ruins can wait. I think Sam needs to be checked out by the doctor.”
“Agreed. Although we may have to convince her.”
“Yeah. That could be the hard part.”
Sam woke to the sun streaming through the slight opening of her tent. She sat up quickly, too quickly. Her head started spinning. She heard noises outside, low voices and the sound of tin cooking gear. She grabbed her weapon and moved a little slower to the opening. She saw Daniel and Teal’c moving around the fire. Why didn’t they wake her?
She stood up slowly. “What’s up? Why didn’t you wake me for my watch?”
“You looked really tired last night. We decided to let you sleep. Feel any better?”
“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have done it. I can hold my own.” She was a little irritated at them for coddling her.
“You hungry?” Daniel asked.
“Ah, not really,” she said hesitantly. Maybe she was sick. She still felt dizzy. “Let’s pack up and get out of here. I want to get moving.”
Daniel eyed her closely and then nodded. Teal’c just started breaking down the tent. The sooner they packed, the sooner they would have Sam back at the SGC.
They checked out the naquadah readings. There were traces but a geological survey might find more. They marked the map of the area for the next team in. They were almost back to the gate when Sam called a rest stop. She motioned Daniel to come over and sit near her.
“I know you wanted to check out the ruins but I think that I’m sick. I can’t seem to get over this fatigue. We need to get back to the SGC and let the doctors check me out. I don’t want to jeopardize the mission because I am too tired to lift my weapon.”
“We already planned on skipping the ruins. We could both see that you were struggling to keep up. Can we slow down now so you don’t run yourself into the ground?”
Sam laughed as she looked up at Teal’c. He nodded his agreement. “Okay, guys, I didn’t know I was being that obvious.”
“Why do you think we let you miss watch last night? We’re not that nice!”
She laughed again. They rested for a half-hour and started toward the gate at a much slower pace. It took them until almost dark to reach it but Sam couldn’t remember the last time she had been so glad to see the ring appear in front of her. She was ready to fall down. She had to walk through the gate and to the infirmary on her own power. She didn’t want Jack to know how bad she felt.
The gate opened in its usual flamboyant style. She steeled herself for the trip through the gate as she punched in her IDC. She felt a dizzy spell as she started through the gate and stumbled out the other side. She saw Jack rushing up the ramp just before she blacked out.
Jack was pacing the infirmary waiting for Dr. Carmichael to tell him what was wrong. Sam had been so pale when she stumbled through the gate. If Teal’c hadn’t been right there beside her, she would have fallen over the edge of the ramp. Jack didn’t understand what could be wrong. She was okay the night before she left. How could she be so sick now?
Daniel was leaning against the wall of the infirmary watching Jack pace. Teal’c stood by quiet and still as usual.
“Jack, you’re making me tired. Sit down, stand still, something. Sam will be alright, you know that.”
“No, Daniel, I don’t know that. She was fine the other night. What could have made her so sick so fast? Tell me what happened again.”
Daniel did the short version this time. It was probably the sixth or seventh time that he or Teal’c had told him what had happened. Sam appeared tired and flushed. They let her sleep the whole night once they made camp. She didn’t feel like eating on the way back. She admitted to her exhaustion when they were approaching the gate. She stumbled through as she entered the event horizon. Teal’c spotted the stumble and was there to catch her on the other side. End of story.
Jack glared at him for his quick run down of the events. And then, he started pacing again. Dr. Carmichael, thankfully, put in an appearance at that time.
“What’s wrong?” Jack practically pounced on the man.
“Well, nothing that I can find. I’m sorry, General, but every test I have run is inconclusive. I am running some additional tests but it could take a while for the results. You can go in and see her if you like. She’s awake but she drifts in and out of sleep rather easily. She says she feels exhausted. That is the only symptom she complains of. I don’t know what to tell you until I get the results of the additional tests.”
Jack rushed through the curtains to Sam’s bed, leaving Teal’c and Daniel to finish talking to the doctor. She looked so pale. He brushed her hair off her face and kissed her forehead. Her eyes opened slightly. He ran his fingers down her cheek.
“Hi, there, sleepy head. Doc says you are having trouble staying awake.”
“I am so tired. I can’t seem to wake up for long. Even then, my head is so foggy with fatigue. I feel like I haven’t slept in months.” She knew what that felt like. When Jack had been trapped on Eudora, she had barely slept for three months. She felt that way now, only worse. And she was too tired to eat.
“Well, I guess this means you need some time off to rest,” his smile was forced. He was worried about her. Her blue eyes were so pale and confused.
“Jack, what’s wrong with me? Dr. Carmichael won’t tell me anything,” her eyes welled up with tears of frustration.
“Shush, he doesn’t know anything yet. He hasn’t seen anything wrong with the tests so far but he’s running some more.” Jack held her hand tightly. “It will be okay. Just rest.”
“Stay with me,” she whispered as her hand tightened briefly on his.
“Wild horses, baby, wild horses!”
She swallowed and nodded. “Hold me.”
Jack had trouble keeping a smile on his face. She sounded so tired, so hopeless. He nodded and moved around to the side of the bed that didn’t have I.V. lines running into her hand. He lay down on his side next to her and slipped one arm under her head. His other arm draped lightly across her waist. He kissed her temple lightly.
‘Sleep, Sam. Just sleep.” He watched as her eyes closed and her breathing steadied. He sighed heavily, letting his anguish show now that she couldn’t see him. He watched her sleep. The exhaustion was clearly written across her face. How could this have happened in 48 hours? She was fine the other night. He remembered her vitality and energy, the way she made love to him. Now, she was so pale and quiet.
Dr. Carmichael came through the door to check on Sam. “I’m sorry, General. I can come back.”
“No, as long as I can stay, do what you have to do.”
“Thank you.”
Daniel and Teal’c were waiting when
“Well, how is she?” Daniel was antsy for information. He felt that it was his fault. He should have insisted that they turn around when he first noticed Sam’s condition.
“No change. The General is staying in there with her. You two should go get some rest. I will let you know if there is any change.”
Daniel nodded reluctantly. He wanted to see her. He felt like he’d let her and Jack down. His guilt was eating away at him. He still felt guilt over Janet. He was with her when she was shot. He should have been protecting her, not filming the injured airman. If anything happened to Sam, he didn’t know how he would handle it. He didn’t know how Jack would handle it.
Teal’c laid a hand on his shoulder. “Come, my friend. We should go.”
Daniel looked at Teal’c. He had forgotten he was there. Teal’c could see the guilt and fear in the other man’s eyes.
“I should have made her turn around when I saw she wasn’t feeling well. I saw she looked tired and flushed. I should have said something then. It’s my fault!”
“She will recover, Daniel Jackson. She is strong. Do not blame yourself. She would have insisted that we continue the mission. She is the commander. Unless you were prepared to physically restrain her and carry her back to the Stargate, she would have continued the mission. Come, let us do as the doctor has suggested. Rest.”
Daniel nodded at his friend. They walked out of the infirmary together.
Jack listened to the low voices of his friends in the other room. He could tell how upset Daniel was by the tone of his voice. And T was right. Sam wouldn’t have turned back at Daniel’s insistence for a little fatigue.
What could be wrong though? She hadn’t complained of being tired or run down. Just the opposite! She seemed to be full of energy. Handling a beefed up mission schedule, working in the lab when on world, moving stuff out of her house and into his, she made him tired watching her!
He thought about the other night when he came to force her out of her lab. She said her neck hurt. She’d been staring at the computer for hours so that wouldn’t be anything strange. Then there was the whole Pete incident but Shanahan hadn’t touched her. Jack had watched her from the house while she was talking to him outside. She went to shower and then they’d had incredible sex on the couch and fell asleep there. What could have caused this sudden fatigue?
Jack was starting to get sleepy. His mind was in turmoil, scenes flashing through his head trying to understand what was happening. Everything kept getting jumbled together. His eyes were so heavy that he couldn’t fight it anymore so he let them close.
A memory flew into his groggy mind. His eyes flashed open. Sarah! When Sarah was pregnant, she had severe bouts of fatigue. Not like this, not this bad, but…but Sam said it could take years for her fertility to return after the shots she’d been taking. And surely,
‘Well, I’m not going to sleep without an answer to that question…’ He leaned over and punched the call button.
“No,” Jack’s answer was equally quiet. “But a thought crossed my mind, and though I’m sure you thought of it, I just couldn’t sleep without asking. Did you give Sam a pregnancy test?”
“Yes, actually that was one of the first things that I did. Pregnancy, especially in its early stages, puts a huge drain on a woman’s system.”
“I figured as much. It just came to me. Thanks, doc.”
Jack lay awake for a long time after that. His sleepiness fled with that one ray of hope. He wanted a life and a family with Sam more than anything. He’d waited so many years for it to be possible. He was afraid of something going wrong. This was something going wrong!
Part Four
Sam woke to familiar warmth against her back and the weight of an arm across her waist. She took a deep breath and savored the feel of him against her. She had no idea what time it was. She could see lights through the curtains but this area was dim. She didn’t hear much sound though. It must still be early.
She squeezed Jack’s hand slightly and twined her fingers through his. She loved his hands, his long elegant fingers and even the funny curve of his thumbs. She loved the way his hands made her feel, whether it was stroking her body into orgasm or just a hand on her shoulder in the lab. She felt safe and loved in the way that he touched her.
She could feel his even breath on her neck, his face buried in her hair. No matter how they went to sleep, they always ended up waking up this way. It was if their bodies gravitated toward each other, his front to her back, spooned deliciously against each other.
Her wandering mind finally settled on the fact that they were in a bed in the infirmary. She remembered the heavy fatigue that had settled over her. It seemed to be gone. She was still a little tired but nothing that couldn’t be accounted for by the fact that she’d slept in a strange bed. And she was hungry…no, she was starving! She looked at the I.V. drips that were feeding into her hand. One of them appeared to be nutrients but it did nothing to take the edge off her hunger. She hated to wake Jack up but she needed some food!
She could feel him stirring slightly. His breathing pattern changed minutely. She was amazed at how well she could read him. They had only been together a short time, well, ‘together’ together…but she could read the slightest change in his sleep or his mood. She loved that. She loved the closeness that it made her feel.
Jack woke slowly. He recognized the body in front of him and felt her slim fingers intertwined with his. He listened carefully to her breathing and realized that she was already awake.
“Good morning,” he whispered. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, much better. And hungry, very hungry!”
“That’s good! Daniel and Teal’c said you didn’t have an appetite while on the mission and you hadn’t eaten anything that last day.”
“I know. I don’t know what was wrong but I feel more like myself today.” She carefully rolled over on her back in the narrow bed so that she could see his face. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
He kissed her lips lightly. “You should have turned back at the first sign of trouble.”
“Is that General O’Neill or Jack speaking?”
“Both! You could have endangered you and your team and General O’Neill would be very angry if you did that. And Jack would be equally pissed if you endangered yourself!”
She laughed at his words. “Well, I feel much better and I know you are right. I just didn’t realize how tired I really was. Did the doctor figure out what was wrong?”
“No,” Jack’s face was serious as he continued. “He has been running more tests but he hasn’t reported anything yet.” He moved his arm to look at his watch. “It’s early yet. He may have something this morning.”
“In the meantime, please, please, please…get me some food!”
Jack laughed and kissed her again before getting up from the bed. “Since you put it so nicely!” He stretched with a groan. Infirmary beds did nothing to help his tired muscles. He leaned over and kissed her once more. “I’ll be right back.”
Sam watched him go. She really did feel much more like herself. Maybe there was something in the atmosphere of that planet that could account for her condition. But Daniel and Teal’c were fine.
Another thought fleetingly crossed her mind… When her sister-in-law was pregnant with her youngest, she had terrible fatigue, almost to the point of bed rest. She shook her head. Surely, the doctor would have thought of a pregnancy test. Besides, it was too soon. She had double-checked the information on the birth control shots when she got back from Tenochtitlán. She found that it could take up to two years to clear her system and for fertility to return.
She was getting restless waiting for her food. If he didn’t show back up soon, she was going to go looking for him! The curtains rustled as someone started in. She perked up expecting Jack only to have Dr. Carmichael enter. Evidently, her look was crestfallen.
Dr. Carmichael laughed, “Sorry to disappoint you! General O’Neill said you were awake and hungry. He went to get you something to eat. You must be really hungry to look that disappointed.”
Sam had to laugh. “No offense, Doctor, but I am starving. If he’s not back soon, I’m going to get it myself!”
“Well, you certainly appear to be better this morning! Let’s check a few things out.” He proceeded to run through several checks on her vitals and took some readings from the monitors. He shook his head slightly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing has changed. Except that you look a thousand times better than you did when you were brought in here yesterday. I want to draw some more blood to run some comparison tests. Maybe something in your blood work is different. I don’t have all of the test results back from yesterday but the only thing that showed up so far was the naquadah in your system was a little more active than normal. But I check that every time you come in here. It wasn’t that way during your pre-mission tests. The only conclusion I can come to is that something on that planet that caused the naquadah to become more active.”
Sam frowned at his words. Why would that happen? She’d visited hundreds of planets since her blending with Jolinar and nothing like this had ever happened. “Has the level of naquadah risen since my blending with Xochiquetzal?”
“No, it was exactly the same. But then, Xochiquetzal left your body, she didn’t die while inside you. We’d always speculated that the naquadah was the result of Jolinar’s body being absorbed into your system and the Tok’ra have confirmed that.”
The curtains moved again to reveal Jack backing into the area. He turned with a big grin and a heavily laden tray of food.
Sam and Carmichael both laughed. “General, sir, I don’t think it’s wise for Colonel Carter to eat that much just yet!”
His grin fell slightly. “Well, I didn’t know what she was hungry for so I picked as many of her favorites as they had.”
“It’s okay, Doctor,” Sam laughed. “I promise I won’t eat it all!”
Dr. Carmichael patted Sam on the shoulder before he left. “I’ll hold you to that!”
Jack watched the man slip between the curtains. “He’s not Janet but he’ll do.”
Sam smiled at his comment. They all missed Janet terribly especially Sam. She was her best friend as well as her doctor. Janet would be happy that she and Jack were together. Sam thought that Janet knew the depths of her feelings for Jack before she did. She sighed heavily, “Yeah, he’ll do.”
Jack placed the tray on the table and moved it over to Sam. She looked at the variety of things piled on it and immediately went for the blue jello. Besides being her favorite, she figured that it would be a good place to start with her very empty stomach.
Jack smiled at her choice. “Did the doc say anything about your other tests?”
Sam told him what was said in between bites of jello. “He thinks maybe there was something on that planet that caused the naquadah to react that way. Maybe someone should go back, take some air and soil samples.”
Jack nodded as he thought about who was available for the mission. “I’ll find someone to go do that. In the meantime, are you well enough to go home?”
“I didn’t ask him. I feel fine but I doubt he’s going to let me go home yet.”
“Maybe you can stay on base in quarters. This bed is definitely not comfortable!” He let loose an exaggerated groan as he stretched again.
“And not big enough for two!”
His hand reached for her face. He lightly cupped her cheek, his fingers caressed the strand of hair the fell across her face. “I’m just glad you’re better.” A stab of the anguish he felt last night returned sharply. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t survive losing her.
She read the pain in his face. “I am okay. Don’t worry.” Her hand covered his as she turned her head to kiss his wrist. “I’m not going anywhere, remember.”
He nodded and slowly removed his hand, letting his fingers slide down her cheek and across her lips. “Go ahead, eat some more. Doc won’t let you out if he thinks you are still not eating.”
Daniel’s head appeared between the curtains. “Good morning,” he said cheerfully. He had already talked to the doctor so he knew Sam was better. “Can we come in?”
“Sure, Daniel!” Sam perked up at the sight of him. Teal’c followed close behind.
“You appear much better this morning, Colonel Carter.”
“I am, Teal’c. Still don’t know what caused it but I feel a whole lot better.”
“Looks like your appetite returned,” Daniel indicated the tray full of food.
“That would be the work of an over enthusiastic fiancé.”
Jack beamed at the use of the word, fiancé. He was that! She’d never used the word before and he’d never really thought about it. They all had to laugh at his look.
“Well, while you have company and breakfast, I am going to go clean up and check with Walter. He’ll be looking for me soon. The man has an uncanny ability to find me no matter where I hide, I mean, no matter where I am.” He leaned over for a quick kiss and then left with their laughter trailing behind him.
Sam was restless. Dr. Carmichael refused to let her out of the infirmary. She was going mad with boredom. She felt fine! She wasn’t tired at all. She wanted to do something! Jack refused to let her have her laptop. Daniel and Teal’c had gone out with SG5 to retrieve the samples that the doctor wanted. Jack was tied up with some emissary from somewhere or another. And Sam was restless.
She hit the call button again. Dr. Carmichael appeared as if he were waiting for her next call.
“Yes,” he said simply. “And, no.”
“How do you know what I was going to ask?”
“Because it was going to be the same question you’ve asked the last times you’ve hit that button.”
“I am bored out of my mind! Just let me have my computer!”
“And face the General when he asks where you got it from? Sorry, Colonel, civilian or not, I prefer not to face his ire.”
Sam sighed heavily. “Well, then find me something to read, get me a TV, something before I lose my mind!”
The doctor just shook his head. “I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, just relax. You aren’t going anywhere just yet!”
He exited quickly, knowing that she was about to make a sarcastic remark. She was a difficult patient! He’d heard stories about how bad the General was. If he was half as bad as this, he was glad he wasn’t going off world anymore!
Speaking of the General, he walked into the infirmary right then. “How’s she doing, doc?”
“She’s driving me crazy. I think that is a sign of her being better.”
Jack laughed at the frazzled look on the doctor’s face as he said it. “Well, I will try to calm her down some.”
“Good luck! She’s in a foul mood right now!”
Jack poked his head between the curtains. “Is it safe to come in?”
Sam glared at him. She had heard their conversation. “I am not in a foul mood. I am, however, bored out of my mind! Please let me have my laptop!”
“Sam, you would just get all wound up with something and then you’d want your lab, too!”
“Jack O’Neill, if I don’t get out of here soon, I will go mad!”
He leaned over to kiss her. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do,” he said as his lips brushed hers. “I wouldn’t want a mad fiancée. I know how you feel about McKenzie.”
She waited until his lips came back for another pass and she grabbed his bottom lip with her teeth. She bit down slightly to emphasize her next words. “Don’t even go there, O’Neill!”
“Ouch!” he yelled playfully. “You are in a foul mood!” He raised his voice slightly, “Hey, doc, have you checked for rabies! She just bit me!”