Temptation
By Shiaw Mei Mei
General Jack O’Neill drew a deep breath as he stepped out of the event horizon of the Stargate onto P3X-482 to face SG1. He missed going off world. This was a treat being able to join SG1 on this mission, not that the commander of SG1 looked happy about it. If anything, the look on Lt. Col. Samantha Carter’s face was as stoic as Teal’c’s. For Teal’c, that was a normal
“Colonel, how’s it going?” he greeted her cheerfully.
“Fine, sir. Thank you for coming.”
Jack tried to control the wince at her tone. It was never fine when a woman said fine. Oh, well, it’s not as if it was his fault that the natives refused to negotiate with a woman. They also refused to negotiate with Teal’c or Daniel once they realized that they worked for her. They wanted to deal directly with the man in charge. And that would be Jack. So, he had his excuse to sneak out of the SGC and through the Stargate once more. And even if it was a simple negotiation, he was grateful for the opportunity.
Jack was seriously unhappy with his decision to accept promotion and the position as head of the SGC. He knew it was the right decision but that didn’t mean he had to like it. His fifty-two year old body had been yelling at him for the constant abuse that he had put it through in the last seven years as head of SG1. He knew that eventually he would put his team in danger because of it. It’s not as if he hadn’t kept in shape over the years, but his knees and back could take only so much abuse. Working out only helped so far and then age took over.
Besides, it was Carter’s turn to lead. He wanted her to have that chance. He wanted it to be SG1 that she led. She earned the flagship team of the SGC and the only way to let her have it was to retire or take a promotion. He wasn’t ready for retirement, especially not now. Now that Carter had moved on with her life and the only thing left for him in retirement would be fishing in a lake that had no fish. Maybe if she hadn’t found someone else… maybe if she was still available.
His heart caught at the memory of the little black velvet box that she had showed him. He was surprised that he had been able to give it back to her without slamming it down on the desk. He could still hear his own voice calmly tell her that Pete could handle the dangers of her job, practically encouraging her to accept the proposal. He still didn’t know if she had. He hadn’t seen the ring since that night.
Jack swallowed hard against the rise of emotions that memory brought rushing into his mind. He took a deep breath and followed Carter as she led them to the villagers that refused to negotiate with a woman.
***
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter tried to control her ire at the villagers that had put her in this position. She had to maintain a calm appearance. General O’Neill was right behind her and although she knew that he had confidence in her ability to lead her team, she also knew that he was aware of her sentiments about cultures that looked down on women. She would remain calm. She kept repeating that over and over to herself as she led the way to the village.
***
“General O’Neill, this is Huang Liang, the leader of this village.” Sam’s voice was toneless as she turned to the villager to finish her introductions. “Huang Liang, this is General Jack O’Neill, our leader.”
Jack almost grimaced at the emphasis she put on the last word. She was definitely pissed. She stepped behind him and out of his line of sight after completing the introduction. It was where Daniel had very delicately said was her ‘place’ in this society. Instead, he smiled at the man in front of him. Daniel had told him that the natives were definitely of Chinese descent. The man in front of him was short but of a stocky, muscular build that indicated a powerful strength. He looked like someone that could probably inflict some serious damage in hand-to-hand fighting. He also wore a very sharp and dangerous looking sword that was long enough to cause damage at a serious distance.
“I am pleased to meet such an illustrious warrior,” Huang Liang said as the two very different looking men sized each other up.
“Likewise,” Jack said affably. “I hear that you want to talk about trade.”
“Yes. Your chyeh said that your people had many things to trade for the rocks that she wanted.”
Jack didn’t even want to know what that word meant. Jack thought he could feel his ‘chyeh’s’ eyes boring daggers between his shoulder blades. “Uh, well, yes, she is right about that. Those rocks are valuable to my people and we can help you with many things. Colonel Carter said that you have illness in your village that we may be able to help you out with.”
“Why do you send a woman to do men’s work? Do you have a shortage of warriors?” Huang Liang asked as he led them to a table in a nearby pavilion. He motioned for the men to sit. Jack watched as Sam moved to stand behind him.
“No, no shortage. Colonel Carter is a warrior. Our ways are, eh, different. Our women are allowed to do whatever work they want to do. The Colonel is very good at her job.” Jack was hoping to gain brownie points with that last statement. Maybe she’d be so kind as to stop the daggers.
Huang Liang snorted his skepticism. “Our women are wives, chyeh or servants. They have no other purpose.”
“Chyeh?” Jack asked, not really wanting the answer.
Daniel’s voice whispered the word he was afraid to hear. Or more correctly, afraid that Sam would hear. “Concubine…”
“Ah,” Jack said with a small smile. “Well, everybody has different ways. I’ve always thought it was best to concentrate on our similarities and not our differences. And one of our similarities is that we both have something that the other needs.”
“You are wise as well as a warrior.”
Jack beamed at being called wise. It helped to bolster him against the daggers that he knew were still pounding his back. “Well, I think the first thing we need to do is bring some of our doctors here to find out exactly what the problem is with your people. Once we have a diagnosis, we can start working on a cure.”
“Doctors?” Huang Liang’s tongue stumbled over the word.
“Healers, uh, yi jerh,” Daniel supplied.
“Ah, very well. What about the rocks that you want?”
“Hey, making sick people better is a priority. After that, we can talk about the rocks.”
Huang Liang looked rather surprised that they were more concerned for his people than the rocks they wanted but there was evident relief as well. “That is most gracious. Please, have your chyeh send for them.”
Daggers… He felt them again. “She’s not exactly…”
“Jack,” Daniel whispered. “Leave it alone.”
Jack hesitated. “Okay, I’ll have her go get them.”
Huang Liang motioned to one of the women that had been serving them food and drink. “Take them to guest rooms,” he said imperiously.
Jack could feel the daggers increase. He stood up and turned to Sam. Strangely enough, her look wasn’t as painful as he thought it would be. “Colonel, go fetch Dr. Carmichael and some of his staff.” He lowered his voice and added, “It might be a good idea to make sure the staff is, uh, male.” Okay, that look was painful but it was hidden from their host by his body. He tried to smile sympathetically but it didn’t help.
“Yes, sir, General,” was the only reply as she turned abruptly and headed back up the trail to the gate. Ouch, a ‘sir’ and his rank in one sentence. Jack shook his head as he watched her go. He felt that it was highly unfair that he was going to have to pay for a situation that wasn’t his fault.
***
Sam fumed all the way to the gate. She knew that it wasn’t the General’s fault but she felt like taking it out on him. She thought that after running into this several times before she would be used to it but she wasn’t. Every time they came across this kind of prejudice against women, she railed against the fate of the women knowing that, in most cases, there was nothing she could do about it.
She stormed through the event horizon with Teal’c close behind her. Daniel had stayed behind with the General. She hoped they had fun with all the testosterone running around that camp.
“Chyeh, my ass,” she mumbled as she handed her weapon to the SF that greeted her at the bottom of the ramp.
“Ma’am?” he asked, confused.
“Nothing, Sergeant,” she said brusquely as she stormed off to the infirmary.
Teal’c just shrugged at the poor man as he trotted to catch up to the irate Colonel. “Colonel Carter,” he said softly as he fell in beside her, his long legs easily keeping up with her irritated pace.
“Yes,” she said curtly.
“It is not General O’Neill’s fault that you were treated the way you were.”
Sam stopped and looked at her
“They may not look at their women as equals but they did not appear to mistreat them.”
“That’s not the point, Teal’c. They should have the right to do or be what they want. And concubines! That’s disgusting!”
“But not unusual from what I have read about the Chinese of this world. Since they have had no outside contact, they have maintained the only lifestyle that they know. Perhaps, by your example, you can make them understand that women can be warriors as well.”
Sam stopped dead in her tracks. She was smiling when she turned to face Teal’c. “When did you become so good at psychology? And I wasn’t acting like a very good example, was I? Pouting like a ten year old…”
Teal’c smiled one of his rare smiles. “I am much older than you and have observed human nature far longer than you have. I also have observed you for eight years. You are a good example for all of the people that we meet. Of course, O’Neill may need treatment for the sharp stares you were giving him.”
Sam laughed as she patted Teal’c’s arm and continued toward the infirmary. “Oh, he’ll live. It’s not the first time he’s had to survive my ‘sharp stares’!”
***
Sam went to her office to check her emails and messages while she waited for the med team to get their things together. She had three messages from Pete. She was supposed to be gone on this mission only over night. She should call him and let him know that it might last longer. She wasn’t sure she liked this ‘reporting in’ part of a relationship. She had been on her own for so long. There had not been anyone that she had to let know her whereabouts since Jonas Hanson and since she had been working at the Pentagon then, there hadn’t been much to report.
She sighed and pulled open the drawer that contained her engagement ring. She didn’t wear it on duty since she didn’t want anything to happen to it. She definitely didn’t wear it off world. She might lose it. On base, she could get it caught in whatever machine or gadget she was trying to work on. Of course, she wasn’t always working on something that required her hands stuck in machinery. A lot of the time, she was just working on her computer. But she still couldn’t bring herself to wear the ring on base.
She opened the black velvet box and looked at the ring that had changed her life so drastically. She was engaged to be married. The idea still surprised her. There were even times that she completely forgot about it. What did that mean about her feelings for Pete? Whenever it happened, she felt ashamed of herself. She had agreed to marry him and there were times that she forgot he existed. She knew that she couldn’t think about him twenty four seven but she found herself thinking less and less of wedding plans and more about work. She had barely gotten started trying to plan a wedding. Pete was getting into all the details that she couldn’t bring herself to think about.
Of course, there was nothing wrong with a long engagement. But then again, she wasn’t getting any younger. If she was serious about having children, she should start making plans for a wedding. Was she serious about having children? She sat staring at the ring, not realizing the time had flown away until Teal’c appeared in the doorway of her lab.
“Colonel Carter, the medical team is ready.”
Sam jumped and snapped the ring box closed. The sound brought back the memory of the General doing the same thing when she showed it to him. She shoved it back in the desk drawer and locked it.
“Sorry, Teal’c. I wasn’t paying attention.”
“We can go on ahead if you need more time.”
“No,” she shook her head as she started grabbing her things. “I don’t need more time.” She followed Teal’c out of the lab thinking that she should have at least stopped to call Pete. But she should only be gone for one more night. He would understand.
***
Dr. Carmichael was tired. He had been on duty since 0600 and he wasn’t accustomed to this much walking. He really needed to get in better shape. Working at the SGC could have some unusual requirements.
“Colonel,” he said to the rapidly moving woman in front of him. “Can we rest for a minute? My people are carrying a lot of equipment.”
Sam stopped and turned to look at the man. “Sorry, Doctor, I forget that most people don’t hike five or six k’s on a given day. We’ll take ten.”
The medical personnel started dropping their burdens and finding places to sit along the side of the trail.
“Colonel, do you know anything about the illness that the villagers have?” Dr. Carmichael was thinking about the little bit of information that they had been given.
“Other than what I already told you, a fever and a rash, nothing. They didn’t let me see anyone. They said that it spread quickly and all people that were infected were moved to a central location. Huang Liang did say that only people that had it before were able to treat the ones that were ill. So I would guess that once exposed you are immune to some degree.”
“Did he say whether it was fatal in any cases?”
“No, but he really didn’t want to talk to me. I am just a woman!” She snorted her disgust at the village leader.
“Well, more information would have been helpful, but I think that I have enough supplies to deal with anything we come across initially. It could just be the measles or chicken pox.”
Sam watched as the now agitated doctor paced back and forth on the trail. “I need to send someone back for some more supplies. If it is smallpox, there’s no cure. I’ll need I.V. fluids, antibiotics and a lot of acetaminophen, ibuprofen, naproxen sodium, and the like for fever. Shit… I’ll also need smallpox vaccines for all personnel that haven’t started to show symptoms. That includes the SGC personnel.”
“Uh, okay, Doctor. Calm down. The SGC personnel have only been here a couple of days and they haven’t had contact with anyone exhibiting symptoms. As I said, the natives isolate the people that show symptoms, so they have some idea of its communicability. Make a list of what you need.” Carter turned to Teal’c. “Teal’c, you’ll need to take one of the medics back to the gate. Which ever one can keep up with a fast pace.”
One of the medics, Harrison, spoke up then. “Ma’am, I’m a runner. I can make it back fast.”
“Okay, you’re chosen. Finish your list, Doctor, and let’s get moving.”
Sam nodded as she turned to Teal’c. “Get Sergeant Harriman to contact General Hammond. He should be able to get it expedited.”
***
Sam marched her wards into the village at a rapid pace. Dr. Carmichael was in a hurry now. The thought of dealing with an outbreak of smallpox had put a boost in his step that Sam had to admire. She knew that it was a tough march and the some of the medical personnel wasn’t in as good a shape as they needed to be for it.
Sam stopped a nearby woman to ask directions to where the General was. The woman pointed to a building in the middle of the village.
“Your nan ren is there, with his advisor. You are a most blessed chyeh. Your nan ren is most faithful to you. Why has he not made you one of his chee?”
“I don’t understand the meaning of some of your words,” Sam said softly. She didn’t want the doctor and the med team to hear the woman’s answer.
“Ah. I don’t know any other words for it.”
“What do you mean by ‘faithful’?” Sam asked quietly.
“Oh, our lord has offered him choice of his chyeh but he declined saying that he had no need of others. He said he was quite content with the one he had.”
Sam couldn’t help but grin at the woman’s words. She could just imagine Jack’s expression when he was offered a choice of women. She mused over the ‘quite content’ part though. They all thought that she was his chyeh.
“Thank you,” Sam said, toning down her grin before turning to the med team. “General O’Neill is over there. We should report in before we do anything else.”
Carmichael nodded and tiredly picked up his gear where he had dropped it. He fell into step next to Sam as they headed for the building.
“Colonel, I, eh, understand a little Chinese.”
“You do?” Sam asked in a flat tone.
“Eh, yeah. Nan ren means man, chyeh means,” he hesitated.
“I know what chyeh means,” Sam said abruptly.
“Oh, and, eh, chee means wife.”
Sam nodded slightly. “Well, Daniel said it was best to let them hang on to their assumptions about my relationship with the General. Since they look at women as property, he thought it was best if they thought that I belonged to someone.” Her voice was quiet as she filled the doctor in on the situation.
Carmichael just nodded as they approached the door. Sam wasn’t worried about any assumptions the doctor might have. She had spoken with him regarding her upcoming marriage because she wanted some answers to questions about her ability to have children. She still had the symbiote markers left behind from Jolinar’s implantation. She wanted to know if he thought there would be any problems getting pregnant.
Of course, the rest of the med team wouldn’t know that she was engaged. She hadn’t exactly yelled it from the rooftops. In a way, that bothered her. Most women that she knew that had been engaged did exactly that, showed off the ring, told anyone that would listen that they were getting married. Sam hadn’t. Daniel and Teal’c didn’t even know unless the General had told them. And she doubted that he would. Besides, the General didn’t know that she had said yes. They had never discussed it again after that night in her lab. The sound of the ring case snapping shut echoed in her memory.
The door opened abruptly, to reveal a strikingly beautiful woman, dressed in silky Oriental robes. She held it open for them to enter. Sam gave her a quick once over and wondered if this was one of the chyeh that had been offered to the General. She almost growled at the woman as she passed her. Sam stopped herself and forced a smile on her face. Why would that bother her so much? The General wasn’t hers to be jealous over.
Sam shook her head clear of those thoughts as she faced the General. He was seated at the head of a large table in the middle of the room with Daniel to his left. The décor was decidedly oriental. Elegant calligraphy adorned parchment wall hangings, finally embroidered silk tapestries hung in various places. There were several doors leading off the main room, presumably bedrooms. There were also several women, not as well dressed as the one that answered the door, serving food. The General looked a little uncomfortable at all the attention.
“Sir, Dr. Carmichael has a theory on the illness. He would like to see the patients as quickly as possible.”
“Theory, Doctor?” Jack asked as the doctor dropped his bags in the floor.
“Yes, sir,” he sighed. “I’m hoping it’s not what I think it is but the only way to eliminate it is to examine the infected.”
“What would that theory be?”
“Smallpox.”
Daniel paled visibly. Jack’s face grew very grim.
“There’s no cure for smallpox, is there?” Daniel asked.
“No, Dr. Jackson, there’s not. We’ve already sent someone back to arrange for vaccines to be flown into the SGC, just in case. But once infected, there is no cure. I would imagine that all of the SGC personnel have had a smallpox vaccine at least once in their life so there is probably no danger to them but I would still recommend boosters for those that come into contact with the sick. However, the villagers will need full-scale inoculations. Hopefully, the Center for Disease Control has enough to supply them with what they need.”
“Doctor, there are more people than just this village. According to our host, there are at least ten villages within a day’s travel of here. More that are further away. We may need to inoculate an entire planet.” Jack’s face was growing decidedly grimmer.
“Well, I need to examine the ones that are ill now to confirm the diagnosis. Colonel Carter’s description was from the natives and not direct examination so it may just be the measles or chicken pox. Either one is much simpler to treat and vaccinate.”
“Very well, Doctor.” Jack turned to the woman that had answered the door. “Xin-quin, would you please ask Huang Liang to join us? Or should we go to him?”
The woman gracefully bowed at Jack. “He would be most happy to join you. I will return quickly.” She backed her way to the door only turning to open it and exit.
The pleased smile disappeared off his face as he noticed Sam’s look. Ouch, the daggers were back. “So, Colonel… Ah, they have great Chinese food…”
Sam resisted the urge to smile at his feeble attempt to lighten her mood. She wanted to stay mad at someone and she figured he was the easiest target. She watched as the second smile slid off his face before she relented and smiled back. “Really,” she said as she slid into the seat on his right. “Maybe I’ll try some.”
Jack’s face lit back up again. He stopped a sigh of relief before it escaped. He didn’t get to be with his team much anymore and, in spite of the threat of disease, he wanted this outing to be as pleasant as possible.
Carmichael sat down next to Daniel and rested his head in his hands. There was a slight trembling showing in them before his head stilled them.
“Are you okay, Doctor?” Daniel asked.
Carmichael sighed before raising his head. “I don’t know. I haven’t had much experience with planet wide pandemics. I didn’t really sign on to the SGC for this sort of thing.”
Jack laughed slightly. “Doc, you have to expect the unexpected with this job. You’ll do all right. And if you need help, just tell me. I’ll have a team of specialists here as fast as I can. These people have an abundant supply of trinium and we need that. So anything we can do to help them, we will do.”
The conversation was cut short by the arrival of their host. He immediately escorted Dr. Carmichael and his team to the quarantined villagers.
***
Sam was a little miffed over the way that the local women fawned over the General and Daniel, especially the General. They acted as if he was some kind of king. It made her think about the mission to Maybourne’s world. Harry had a harem. The General didn’t give her a chance to give Harry a piece of her mind over that.
It never ceased to amaze her how presumably civilized, intelligent men could act like such little boys over women. The General was trying hard to be inconspicuous over all the attention but she could read him too well. He was in his own little piece of heaven at the moment. She’d let him enjoy it because she was going to give him hell about it later.
Even Pete was susceptible to it. She had forgiven him for his following her to the Osirus stakeout. He was a curious cop, a bad combination for her line of work. He finally admitted that he had her checked out by his FBI friend after she’d said yes to his marriage proposal. She didn’t want to forgive him for that but she’d already agreed to marry him. If she loved him enough to marry him, surely she should be able to forgive him for that. It was in his nature to investigate mysteries. Wasn’t it?
Sam’s line of thought was interrupted when Dr. Carmichael entered the room looking very upset. She guessed that his original fears had come true.
“General O’Neill, it is smallpox. The symptoms are quite conclusive. I will need more help, quickly, if we are to try to save as many as possible.”
Huang Liang was standing behind the doctor as he spoke. “This ‘smallpox’, you can cure it?”
The doctor turned to face the worried man. “No, I’m afraid not. We don’t have a cure but we can treat it so that those with it have a better chance of surviving. We also have a way to prevent it in people that don’t already have it.”
Huang Liang nodded slowly. “We will render you all assistance you require.”
Jack stood up and walked toward Huang Liang. His hand found the shorter man’s shoulder. “We will do everything we can,” he said quietly. He turned to Sam. “Colonel, get a list of everything the doctor needs and get back to the gate with it. Have them contact General Hammond and apprise him of the situation. Tell him that I consider this a priority mission.”
Sam stood quickly, leaving her unfinished meal on the table. “Yes, sir. Doctor, let’s make that list.”
Dr. Carmichael moved over to Sam as she pulled a pad out of her jacket pocket. Jack could hear their low voices talking urgently as he turned back to Huang Liang. “We’ll do everything we can.”
Huang Liang’s eyes shone with gratitude and something else. “My only son is ill. I have tried to steel my heart against his loss. If you can help him, anything you want is yours.”
Jack nodded. “I understand.” He swallowed hard against the memory of Charlie. “I lost my son… a long time ago.”
Huang Liang nodded with understanding. “Do you have other sons?”
“No, no other children.”
“Your chyeh appears quite healthy. Can she have no others?”
Jack saw Sam’s head snap up. She obviously had been listening to the conversation. He saw the sympathy mixed with something indefinable. “She wasn’t my son’s mother. And she has other obligations besides having children.”
***
Huang Liang saw the look that passed quickly between the man and his chyeh. A look of regret shadowed her eyes. He thought he understood. She wanted his children but she wasn’t allowed. Maybe that’s the way that their women warriors were. Maybe they weren’t allowed children. A tinge of admiration for the woman began to soften his prejudice against her. Their ways were different, yes, but the people weren’t that different.
***
Sam was maintaining a fast trot back to the gate. The doctor didn’t want anyone going back through the gate so Sam would have to radio the information. He wasn’t sure that the epidemic could be completely contained. He didn’t want to risk carrying the infection back through.
The list that Dr. Carmichael sent with her was long. Some of the things that he had mentioned on the way here, I.V. fluids, antibiotics, fever-reducing drugs, were already on their way. But there were at least 30 people in various stages of the illness. They would need much more than Teal’c and the medic would know to get. One of the villagers was accompanying her but since it was a man, he didn’t seem to feel the need to talk to her. She allowed her thoughts to block out the tiring run.
The look on Jack’s face when he mentioned Charlie hurt. She saw that same look that night in her lab when she showed him the ring, when she asked him what he would do if things had been different. She still didn’t know what his answer meant. He had left her lab immediately after that. Hell, she didn’t know what she was asking him! How the hell could she know what his answer meant?
In a way, she was asking what if he still had a family. What would he do? Then again, she wondered what he would do if she and he… She pushed those thoughts roughly out of her mind. There was no ‘she and he’. She had other obligations. She laughed sarcastically as her own thoughts mocked her with his words. She had Pete. She loved Pete but it wasn’t quite the same…
Her radio chattered in her ear, preventing her from finishing that traitorous thought. “Colonel Carter, come in. This is Teal’c.”
She slowed to a stop as she thumbed her mike. “This is Carter. Teal’c, we need more supplies. The doctor was correct. We are going to need more help and a lot more medicine.”
“Acknowledged. What do you need me to do?”
“I am on the way back to the gate with the list. Dial up the SGC so they can get started on it. After that, you need to continue to the village with the supplies and help you have. General O’Neill wants me to contact General Hammond so I’ll continue that direction.”
“Acknowledged.”
“Teal’c has returned with medicine and help. We’ll need more than what he was able to bring so we need to continue on to the Stargate,” she said to the villager while she waited for Teal’c to let her know when the gate was activated. He nodded his acknowledgement.
The villager just watched as she read the requirements into the mike. Once completed, she started out at a rapid pace once more.
***
Jack was helping bathe a fevered child in the makeshift infirmary when Teal’c showed up in the doorway. He had two SG teams with him and various medical personnel. “Come on in, folks. We need all the help we can get.”
The various bundles that they carried were taken over and deposited near the frazzled looking doctor. Jack continued to bathe the feverish boy that lay in the bed in front of him. He hadn’t broken out in the rash that comes with smallpox but that would be the next stage. He appeared to be around seven or eight. Dr. Carmichael said that his fever was near 104. Jack knew that was dangerously high. The doctor had given him some extra strength Tylenol to try to help with the fever. Jack kept trying to get the child to drink water to re-hydrate him but the boy was delirious. Jack didn’t even know his name.
“Let me get an IV started, sir,” a corpsman said softly over his shoulder. “It will help.”
Jack grimaced as he moved out of the way. He looked around the room for something else to do. Daniel was helping with another patient. Jack felt helpless in this type of situation. He knew enough field medicine to get by but this was... this was beyond his scope. He stood ineffectively in the middle of the room until he saw the doctor motioning him over.
“What can I do, Doc?”
“I hate to make you a clerk, sir, but we need someone to keep track of who has been given what type of medication. I also need to give you a smallpox vaccine. We had access to some at the hospital at the Academy. They had it in case of terrorist attack. I didn’t even know it was there.”
Jack nodded as he stripped off his fatigue jacket to allow the doctor access to his arm. He winced slightly as the needle punctured his skin. “Whatever I can do to help, Doc. I’m a little out of my league here.”
Carmichael nodded as he handed Jack a clipboard with paper. “Try to get names, if you can’t, a description of the patient.” He handed him a handful of plastic hospital bracelets. “Put these on each patient and keep track of the numbering. I have been leaving notes on the patients with each of their dosages; copy those notes to the charts. It’s very important to keep track of the treatment.”
Jack nodded as the doctor turned away abruptly to continue work on another patient. He saw Colonel Reynolds watching him, looking just as lost. “Colonel, I want you to take charge of the SG teams that aren’t helping in here. We need a perimeter set to keep the healthy away from here. I also want you to coordinate with Huang Liang to seek out the other villages that might be ill as well. We have a possible epidemic on our hands and we need containment.”
***
Huang Liang watched through the door as these strangers took charge of his people. They seemed very sure of what they were doing. He had been watching through the window as their leader had gently bathed his son. Huang Liang was afraid to enter the room and he was ashamed of that fear. His only son lay in there being treated by strangers while he was too afraid. He steeled his determination and started through the door.
“Whoa, Huang Liang, no! You haven’t been vaccinated yet. You don’t need to be in here!” Jack’s voice stopped his movement.
“Vaccinated?”
“Yeah, the medicine that the doctor told you about. It keeps you from getting sick. Once you have the shot, you can come in here but we don’t have enough of it right now. When we have more, you’ll be first to get one.”
Huang Liang nodded slightly and backed away from the door. Jack followed him out. “I know you want to be with your son but we are taking care of him. You getting sick won’t help him or us.”
Jack was careful not to touch the other man. The doctor had said that smallpox is not airborne, that it is carried through contact with infected people, or their bedding or clothing. “Look, I have to go back in now. Some of my people will be with you shortly to go over quarantine procedures. I also want to contact the other villages nearby, especially any that you have come into contact with in the last month. There may have been some that were infected or that got infected by being in contact with you.”
The shorter man nodded. “We will do as you ask, however, some of those villages are not friendly. They may have come into contact with us in battle.”
“Battle?” Jack lowered his head and sighed. One more thing to screw up this situation. “Okay, we’ll try to avoid those for now and just deal with the friendly ones. We don’t have enough people to try to approach a village that might not want us.”
“Agreed.”
“Let me get back in here. The doctor needs all the help he can get.”
Huang Liang returned to the window to watch as the great leader of these people went about doing work that should be relegated to a scribe or a woman. He shook his head in wonder. What kind of people were these?
***
Sam watched as the event horizon formed and people began to file through. She had a dozen more people, all volunteers and half of them women. She didn’t have much choice. The doctor needed help and she couldn’t find enough qualified people without including women. They had all been briefed about the customs of the people of 482.
Basically, the doctor had tons of chyeh… Sam snickered at the poor harried doctor having half a dozen wives foisted upon him without his knowledge. Oh, well, she had to live with the assumption that she was Jack’s concubine. The doctor would just have to suffer. Sam motioned for her ragtag team to move down the path and away from the Stargate.
***
Sam watched as Jack wandered around the makeshift hospital checking patients, making notes. He looked exhausted, haggard; his fatigue shirt was unbuttoned, hanging. She had only been gone for around five hours. He must have been in here the entire time. She motioned to one of the nurses that were waiting behind her. “Go relieve the General,” she said quietly. “The rest of you report to Dr. Carmichael,” she said a little louder to those behind her.
She moved inside the door and watched as the nurse spoke softly to the General. The relief on his face was evident as he peeled the latex gloves he was wearing off his hands. A slight smile crossed her face as she watched him scrub his face with his hands and then run his fingers through his hair. Her fingers itched to smooth his ruffled hair. His hair was so unruly and she loved it that way.
***
Jack looked up to see Sam standing near the door. The look on her face, her smile, it was almost tender but it disappeared as soon as he made eye contact. He couldn’t help but wonder what thoughts had put that gentle smile on her face.
“Colonel, glad you’re back,” he said as he walked up to her. “Did you get vaccinated?”
She just nodded in response to his question.
“Good,” he said, his tone indicating his exhaustion. “I need to sit down somewhere. Let’s go back to the guest rooms. I want to know what General Hammond said.”
“Yes, sir,” she said as she followed him out of the room.
***
Sam watched as Jack sat down at the table, his elbows on the table and his face in his hands. “So, what did George say?” he mumbled through his hands.
“He said he would do whatever it took to help. He called right before the team left the SGC to say that there was more vaccine on the way from the CDC in Atlanta. He was also rounding up medical personnel with the appropriate security clearances to assist. We brought tents to use as temporary quarters and additional hospital space. SG-11 is setting them up just beyond the existing quarantine area.”
“Good,” Jack sighed. “I’m not cut out to be a nurse. How do they deal with all that suffering all the time?” His voice was clearer since he had moved one hand to rub the back of his neck. “Man, my neck, my back, my knees, they’re killing me. There’s a big difference between hiking all day and standing around trying to keep track of sick people.”
Sam smiled at him, although he hadn’t looked up and couldn’t see it. She walked over behind his chair and hesitantly moved her hands to his neck. She felt him tense for a moment before he relaxed into the pressure of her hands. The muscles in his neck and shoulders were so tight it was no wonder he was hurting. She knew it was more than just standing all day. It was standing around watching people he couldn’t help, especially the children.
Her hands moved up the back of his neck, rubbing the tight muscles at the base of his skull. She kneaded there for a while before moving up the back of his head to massage his scalp. She let her hands enjoy the texture of his hair as her fingers applied pressure to his temples. His arms had fallen down by his side. His head was tilted back enough for her to see that his eyes were closed and his lips were slightly parted. The urge to run her finger down his cheek and across his lips was difficult to control. Instead, she continued gentle pressure as she moved back down to his neck.
Gently, trying not to startle him, she reached around to his unbuttoned fatigue shirt and pulled it slowly down his arms. She let it pool around his wrists, between him and the low backed chair, as she moved back to his shoulders, massaging the tense muscles through his t-shirt. She felt him sigh as he began to relax under her care. His body leaned forward slightly giving her better access to his upper back as she continued working the tight muscles.
Sam felt as if she was dreaming. She was touching Jack in a way that only happened in her dreams. A twinge of guilt caused her hands to falter briefly. She was just helping a friend. There was nothing sexual in what she was doing. He was in pain and she just wanted to make it go away. She wanted to help him, the way that friends helped each other. They were at least that…friends. Weren’t they? Her hands crept lower on his back, kneading his lower back and spine.
He pulled his hands free of his fatigue shirt and folded his arms on the table in front of him. His head slowly dropped on to his arms. She felt as well as heard the low moan that escaped his mouth as she put her weight behind her hands, pressing into his muscles. The sound sent tingles through her that had nothing to do with friendship. She felt as if she woke up, startled from a dream. She let her hands run up his back one more time before she stopped. The moment was lost in the sensuous sound of that low moan. The urge to hold him was too much. She had to move away from him.
Sam walked over to the fire and threw some more wood on it. The temperature in the room was dropping with the approaching darkness. She looked back over to see him with his head still on the table. She was afraid that he would fall asleep that way and all her work would be ruined.
“Sir, have you eaten?”
“No,” he said, so softly she almost didn’t hear him. “I’m not hungry, just tired.”
“Go lay down. You’ll just end up hurting more if you try to sleep like that. I’ll wake you if they need you.” She kept her face to the fire as she heard him move the chair away from the table and shuffle tiredly toward the bedroom. She hoped that the fire would conceal her flushed face.
***
Jack tried to glimpse her face before he turned toward the bedroom he had been assigned by their host. He didn’t know what had possessed her to give him a massage. He didn’t question her about it. He was too grateful for the relief from the aches and pain. All those nagging aches just reminded him why he had accepted the promotion. He was too old to deal with off-world missions. He felt a lump threaten to form in his throat. He was too old for a certain blonde Colonel, too.
He opened the door to the bedroom and then paused. He turned to see her watching him go. That tenderness was there again. It rapidly disappeared before he could try to decipher the meaning. “Thanks,” he said softly before entering the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.
With the door closed, he leaned his back against it with a sigh. Her hands were so… He closed his eyes, clenching his jaw against the things that he wanted to say to her. Contrary to what their hosts believed, she wasn’t his. She belonged to another man. But the feel of her hands caressing his head, massaging his neck, his shoulders… His eyes squeezed tightly shut against moisture that tried to find its way to the surface.
He needed to lie down. He was overly tired. He hadn’t slept well the night before. He never did when SG1 was off world, when Sam was off world. Now, his emotions were on the surface after watching those children suffer and then having Sam taking care of him that way. That way…so loving, so caring…
Jack let his head bang softly on the door before he headed over to the bed. He managed to get his boots off and stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt before he curled up under the thick blanket. Surprisingly, the turmoil in his mind couldn’t keep him from sleep but the touch of Sam’s hands followed him into his dreams.
***
Sam pulled Jack’s abandoned shirt from its place on the chair before she sat down. She held the shirt to her face and inhaled the scent of him. The smell of the man had never failed to elicit a response from her. Pine, musky sweat and coffee, these things all made her think of him. Her emotions were in complete turmoil. The feeling of Jack’s muscles under her hands remained vivid. Why had she done that? She shouldn’t be touching him like that! And that soft moan… The sound echoed in her mind. It had been all she could do to stop herself from wrapping her arms around him.
What about Pete? How could she feel like this when she was engaged? How could she be engaged when she still loved Jack? There…she had finally admitted it to herself. She still loved Jack. She loved Pete, too, but it wasn’t the same. Pete was a distraction. She enjoyed being with him, they had fun together, but the feeling she had for Jack was different. It was far deeper than anything she could ever feel for Pete. It was based on years of friendship, common experiences and a love that had developed over time. But Pete was something that Jack wasn’t. He was attainable.
Sam sighed as she buried her face in his shirt as she lowered her head to the table. She needed to talk to Pete. She had to give back the ring. Even if she could never have Jack, Pete wasn’t the answer.
***
Daniel and Teal’c entered the common room of Huang Liang’s house to find Sam asleep with her head on her arms on the table, a fatigue shirt cushioning her head. They looked at each other questioningly. They had been told that Jack had come back over here. The servants were on their way with the evening meal.
Daniel walked over to Sam and gently shook her shoulder. “Sam,” he said softly. “Wake up, Sam.”
He was startled to find her face tear stained as she looked up at him. She must have seen his surprise in his face because she immediately stood and rubbed her face with the heels of her hands.
“I must have fallen asleep.”
“Obviously,” Teal’c’s voice boomed behind Daniel. “You should go lie down. You cannot be getting sufficient rest at the table.”
“He’s right, Sam. Unless you are hungry. The natives are bringing in food.” Daniel watched as she shook her head. “Where’s Jack? We were told he came over here.”
Her head indicated the bedroom door. “He’s asleep,” she said.
Several native women bringing in food interrupted any further conversation. Huang Liang followed them in. “Where is O’Neill?” he asked.
Daniel nodded toward the door. “He’s asleep.”
“He should eat. He hasn’t eaten since early in the day. He was helping with the sick.” Huang Liang looked at Sam with a small smile. “You should wake him.”
Sam was obviously surprised at the smile, small though it was, and the fact that he had spoken to her directly without hesitation. She smiled back and nodded as she grabbed Jack’s fatigue shirt. Without thinking about it, she walked over to the bedroom door and with a slight knock, entered.
Daniel watched the subtle interplay between Huang Liang and Sam. The man evidently was softening his attitude toward Sam. It was good that these people understood that different people have different ways and could accept them.
***
Jack’s dreams were filled with Sam’s touch. Her hands on his neck, massaging his temples gently, shaking his shoulder…
Someone was shaking his shoulder. Jack turned over to find Sam looking down at him. “Sam? What’s up?” he asked softly. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“There’s food if you’re hungry.”
He took a deep breath and rubbed his face. “How long was I asleep?”
She checked her watch before answering. “A little more than an hour. How are you feeling?”
“Better, but still tired. But I am hungry and they do make fantastic Chinese food,” he smiled as he looked up at her. There was that look again. That tender, soft look…one he hadn’t seen on her face in a long time. Once again, it disappeared, but not as quickly as before.
He started to throw back the covers until he remembered that he had stripped down to his underwear. “Uh, I’ll be out in a minute…”
“Okay,” she said softly. She laid his fatigue shirt across the foot of the bed before she turned for the door. Jack watched her walk away with a quiet sigh. Something was different. He wondered what was going through her little genius brain.
***
Sam was helping the women set up the table. She figured it was expected of her but she was also grateful for something to keep her hands busy. She heard the door to the bedroom open behind her. She forced herself to continue with what she was doing and not look at him. It would be too obvious. She felt as if the change in her mood was palpable. She didn’t want to take a chance that he would notice.
She looked up to see Huang Liang watching her. He knew. Somehow, the stocky leader knew how Sam felt about Jack. But then, the man thought she was his lover so what would it matter. Sam smiled slightly at that thought and lowered her eyes to the task of setting the table.
Jack took the end of the table, opposite Huang Liang. Daniel was on Jack’s left with Teal’c next to Daniel. There was a conspicuous space to the right of Jack. Sam sighed softly as she moved to take the seat. She sat quietly toying with her food as the men discussed the situation with the neighboring villages.
Sam noticed Jack glancing at her several times. She just couldn’t contribute anything to the conversation. Her mind was in turmoil over her earlier actions. She should say something to him but she didn’t know what to say. She had to get her emotions under control. They would be here for at least three weeks according to Dr. Carmichael. He didn’t want anyone going back through the gate until there were no new signs of smallpox.
That brought her mind back to Pete. She needed to get a message back to him that she was delayed. She should have answered his messages while she had the chance. She could have just told him that she didn’t know when she would be back.
“Carter,” Jack’s voice cut through her thoughts.
“Sorry, sir,” she stammered. “You were saying?”
“I said, that since we can’t go back for at least three weeks, we need to send messages to families to let them know that this mission has been delayed. Any messages?”
“Uh, yes, sir, uh, no,” Sam shook her head slightly to try to clear it. It was as if he had read her thoughts.
She noticed the slightly confused look in his eyes. She knew that he was thinking of Pete. “No, sir,” she said softly as she lowered her eyes to her uneaten food. “No messages.” She couldn’t send a message through Jack. The real message she needed to send had to be delivered in person.
Sam listened as the conversation continued around her though she wasn’t really paying attention. She suddenly felt so tired. She had hiked nearly 30 klicks today. Add to the physical exhaustion, her realization that Pete wasn’t for her, her body just seemed to give out. She thought about excusing herself and finding her sleeping bag but she didn’t even know where she was supposed to bunk.
Jack’s voice interrupted her thoughts as if he had been reading them again. “Colonel, why don’t you turn in? You look as if you could use some sleep.”
His eyes were soft when she glanced up. She nodded slightly and glanced around at Huang Liang. “Where, sir?” she said quietly.
Jack bit his lower lip slightly before responding. “There,” he indicated his room with a slight nod of his head.
Sam was too tired to argue or even to consider the consequences of his suggestion. She stood up shakily and walked over to pick up her gear from the corner of the room. She felt as if all eyes were watching as she slipped through the door to Jack’s room and closed it behind her.
She looked around the room, her eyes pausing at the large bed. She couldn’t just curl up in his bed no matter what anyone thought about her status. She noticed a thick rug opposite the bed, the fireplace situated on the wall in between. One of the servants had stirred up the fire while they were eating and it looked comforting and warm. There was a door to a bathing area on the other side of the room. Sam pulled some clothes and her toiletries from her pack and went to clean up and change.
***
Jack wasn’t sure what he would find in his room but he made sure that his host didn’t see any hesitancy in his step as he entered it. Sam was in her sleeping bag in the floor opposite the bed with her back to it. He was afraid that would be her choice. He wanted her to take the bed. He knew she was exhausted after three trips to the gate in one day. She should have taken the bed and left him the floor.
He moved quietly as he got ready for bed. He lay close to the edge of the bed and watched the flames from the fire play off her hair. Even at a distance, her presence was enough to send tendrils of desire trailing through his body. Being this close made it even more intense. He knew that nothing would ever come of it but he longed for her as much now as he had four years ago when he first realized how much she meant to him.
Four years… Had it really been that long? What happened along the way? He had always hoped that some day the SGC wouldn’t need them anymore, that he could retire and have a life with her. But that some day wasn’t going to happen. She was engaged to another man. When had she decided to get a life? A pained smirk crossed his face as he remembered telling her once that she needed one.
Mumbling in her sleep, he watched as Sam rolled over on her back. The fire highlighted her lips as they moved slightly. His thoughts played over how soft they would feel against his. Twice, he had kissed those lips, once when she had been ‘touched’ and once in a time loop. His mind replayed that last kiss. Her hands had tightened on his head, her arms wrapped around him. She had been a willing participant, eagerly kissing him back once the initial shock of his actions had worn off. Then the loop reset.
He had been so lost in thought he didn’t notice that her eyes had opened. She…the look in her eyes, a look of sleepy longing. And it was gone. Her guard returned and closed off her eyes. Jack smiled half-heartedly before she turned back toward the wall. For a long time he just watched her sleep until his eyes refused to stay open. He took the vision of her in the firelight with him into his dreams.
***
Sam was awake but she was trying hard to feign sleep. She didn’t want him to know she was awake. The look on his face earlier had hurt. He still cared. She had thought… the last few years he had become distant. Their easy banter and comfortable teasing had disappeared. She took that to mean that he didn’t care about her the same way he had four years ago.
Her imaginary conversation with him on the Prometheus had somehow convinced her that her suspicions were true, that his feelings had changed. And that she was hanging on to a dream that wouldn’t happen but kept her safe from being hurt. By Jack or by others… When Pete showed up on her doorstep, she decided to take a chance. And now, look where it had gotten her. Engaged to a man that she didn’t love enough to marry and longing for a man she couldn’t have. She kept her breathing steady as a single tear managed to escape.
***
Nearly three weeks had gone by. The speed of that passing depended on who was telling the story. Sam felt as if it had been months. Every night she spent in Jack’s room lasted an eternity. Every day drug by as she was left with little to do. The infirmary was fully staffed and the number of patients had significantly decreased, so she wasn’t needed there. The natives still weren’t interested in working with a woman warrior so she really had nothing to do. She spent most of her time walking the perimeter of the village and the quarantine site and working out, hoping that she would wear herself out enough to sleep dreamlessly. It didn’t work.
She had dozed off and on last night as usual. She fell asleep only when her mind paused in its inane rants against life and fate to whatever god would listen. She would wake with a start as her brain delved into forbidden territories in her dreams. Over and over, she had visions of touching him, holding him, making love to him. His close proximity at night seemed to make the dreams more realistic, even attainable. She would wake, her body warm and damp with sweat, with wetness and an aching between her thighs.
Sometimes she would open her eyes only to find him watching her. He never said anything, never did anything. She wondered if he knew the thoughts that were running through her mind. Thoughts of getting up from her place near the fire and crawling into bed beside him. Thoughts of touching him in all the ways that ran through her dreams.
Most of the time she would turn her eyes away quickly but last night she couldn’t. Her eyes had locked with his. She had been sure that he could see the last vestiges of her dream as it dissipated into the night, visions of lips and tongues locked, naked limbs intertwined, bodies joined intimately. She had ached with unfulfilled desire. She had been so close to orgasm that the slightest pressure would finish it.
His eyes had been dark and unreadable in the firelight. She had been unable to tell what he was thinking. She thought she had seen a crack in his armor as a fleeting look of pain crossed his face and as quickly disappeared. Did he want her as badly as she wanted him? Or was he uncomfortable with the desire he had to have read on her face?
She had shifted in her sleeping bag. She hadn’t meant to pull the twisted bag tighter around her. She definitely hadn’t meant to tangle her legs in such a way that her thighs closed tightly against her aroused flesh. She never meant to make that sound, that gasp that melted into a moan as her body found release. She hadn’t meant to keep her eyes locked on his as pleasure shot through her aching body.
His eyes, unreadable in the dim light, held hers until she finally turned away in shame. Once she was facing away from him, tears ran freely down her face.
Sam shuddered at the memory and continued to walk the perimeter. She needed to find another place to sleep, even if she had to sneak her sleeping bag into the woods. She couldn’t spend another night in his presence. She didn’t have the willpower to handle it anymore.
***
Jack stood near the window watching as Sam made another pass near the village in her daily walks. There really was no need for her to walk the perimeter but he didn’t say anything to her about it. She was bored with nothing to do so if walking helped, he would let her. He wished he could join her.
He had gone out with Huang Liang to the nearby friendly villages. They found one village with five people sick. The other six villages had no sign of smallpox. Huang Liang arranged for the five to be transported to the infirmary in his village since Jack didn’t want to split up the medical personnel.
The only three nearby villages left were unfriendly. They had managed to get a messenger to each of them notifying them of the illness. They hadn’t sent very friendly responses but they were informed that there was treatment available if it was needed. Now there was nothing to do but wait. Jack was never very good at waiting but he couldn’t join her. Not after last night. He wasn’t sure he could face her alone again.
His thoughts flew back over last night. She had been mumbling in her sleep, again. She did that a lot. Most of the time, he couldn’t make out what she was saying but last night one word came out clear. Too clear… His name…Jack. It echoed in his mind. It wasn’t so much that she had said it; it was the way that she said it. Low, sensuous, the way that he had dreamed of hearing her say it. But in his dreams, she was in his arms and he was buried in her body. He had been aroused watching her but that sound, his name on her lips like that, his arousal had increased almost to the point of pain. It was all he could do to stay in the bed and not go to her.
And then she opened her eyes. He hadn’t been able to turn away from her eyes; he had been mesmerized by the passion hidden there, by the sweat that glistened on her skin in the firelight, by her parted lips and panting breath. She usually turned away quickly when their eyes met in the dimly lit room but last night she didn’t. Last night she had held his gaze for what seemed like an eternity. He had wanted to move to her, to hold her, to taste her, to feel her body against his.
He had watched as she shifted in her sleeping bag. He had watched in wonder as she shattered with pleasure. Her face had flushed as a low moan escaped her mouth. His body had ached with need but he couldn’t move. The sight of her body consumed by pleasure, the pleasure that he wanted to give her, had immobilized him. He had sighed as she turned her back to him. He had heard the soft ragged breaths that indicated her tears but he was powerless to do anything. The sadness of that sound deflated his arousal like a bucket of cold water.
So Jack watched as she paced the perimeter of the village, his mind filled with turmoil.
***
It was their last night here. All she wanted now was for this night to be over. If any good came out of this situation, it was the fact that she had finally realized that Pete was not the answer for her. She didn’t love him as she should, not enough to marry him. Her feelings for Jack were beyond denial. Her body hummed in his presence as if there were a magnetic field that connected them. It was humming now. And she knew that if she went to sleep her dreams would turn that hum into raging desire. She couldn’t sleep here. Not tonight.
***
Jack lay on his back listening to her breathe. She had given up feigning sleep. So had he. Sleep was out of the question. His dreams turned erotic the moment he closed his eyes. She was so close and so far away. Last night haunted him. Her eyes so full of want and need wouldn’t leave his memory.
He continued to stare at the ceiling and listen to her breathing. Since that’s all he was concentrating on it was easy to recognize the soft sobs. His heart contracted at the sound. How had they come to this? At one time in his life, he believed that they would have a future together. Albeit a murky future considering the regulations but at some point… Now, she was engaged to another man. How had they managed to get so screwed up?
He wanted to go to her, to reassure her that everything would be okay, but he knew that if he got near her, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from holding her. If that happened, he’s not sure if he could stop himself from going further. So he lay there listening as her sobs softened into sleep. And then he lay there listening to her sleep.
***
Sam woke with a gasp. She had been determined to stay awake. She knew they would be back on base in the morning and she could go home and sleep for several days. Without Jack’s presence clouding her dreams. She was so tired but still her dreams were filled with Jack. She groaned softly as she tried getting into a comfortable position. Her bedding was damp with sweat and her panties were damp with something much more pungent. Once again, she woke aroused. Though, if she thought about it, it seemed as if were a constant state these days, especially when she had to spend any time around Jack. Not having anything to occupy her time, it seemed as if all she could think about was him.
She groaned again as she turned over once more. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t care what anyone thought, she couldn’t stay in here another minute. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was close to two in the morning. Surely, their hosts would have retired for the night. She had to get out of here.
Quietly she rose, leaving the sleeping bag. She wasn’t thinking about sleeping. All she could think about was just getting away from Jack. She hadn’t looked over at the bed. She didn’t want to see him, she didn’t care if he was awake and watching her. It seemed as if he was always awake and watching her. She just had to get out of here. She had almost reached the door when it opened. Sam gasped as Jack entered the room looking as haggard as she felt.
***
Jack stopped short of actually running into Sam. The look of surprise on her face, the nervous look over her shoulder at the bed, made it obvious that she thought he was in it. She was so close that he could feel her breath on his skin. He could smell her, a musky mix of sweat and arousal. His breath came in small gasps as he tried to control the urge to inhale deeply, to drink in her scent.
She hadn’t moved. He found he couldn’t move so they stood there, eyes locked, not speaking. She was so close. A small movement would put his mouth close to hers, on hers. He watched as she bit her lower lip. A slight groan found its way from his throat as he longed to taste those lips. That small sound inflamed the look of desire in her eyes.
He didn’t know exactly who had initiated it. All he knew was that he found his arms full of her, her body tight against him, his lips hard on hers. Even though somewhere in his mind a voice was yelling at him to stop, he couldn’t. The sound of the door slamming shut didn’t register until he realized she had pushed him against it. Pinned between the wall and her body, his brain was clouded with need. Her leg hooked around his thigh, her body pressed hard against him, rubbing wantonly against him. The taste of her lips drove all coherent thought from his mind and only the sound of his blood rushing through his body remained. The sweetness of her mouth intoxicated him driving all control from him.
Quickly, he turned her, pushing her up against the hard door. His hands explored her body, his mouth devouring hers. Her hands pulled hard at his hips as she tried to grind her groin against him. His hands found their way up the front of her shirt, her hot skin, her softness. She wasn’t wearing a bra… there was nothing to stop his hands from exploring the soft mounds of flesh. His mouth finally separated from her lips and found their way down to her neck. The sound of her gasp as his tongue savored the salty taste of her skin caused him to shiver. Her taste was an aphrodisiac.
Her hands clawed frantically at his t-shirt, pulling it up between them. His hands moved to help her and quickly he was free of his shirt. He groaned as her mouth began exploring his chest, hot and wet. Her hands were insistent as she pulled him toward her, holding him tight as she tormented him with her mouth. Her body writhed against him, seeking closer contact. He had trouble breathing as one of her legs wrapped around him and she pushed against his already painful arousal.
His hands reached for her hips. Using the door behind her for support, he pulled her up off the floor, pressing hard into her, their clothing keeping him from his ultimate goal. Her legs wrapped around him as she moaned into his neck. Her arms tightened around him as he moved away from the door, carrying her toward the bed. Falling into the wide soft bed, Jack felt as if he were living one of his dreams. She was there under him. She was warm and soft, her mouth wet and hot. One of his hands found the soft mound of her breast beneath the material of her t-shirt. He could feel the hardened nipple through the cloth. Her mouth still trailed hot and wet across his chest, teasing his own nipple with her tongue.
He groaned and pulled away, yanking her shirt up and off her with startling speed. Her breasts were bare to him. His mouth moved quickly to suckle hard on her nipple. He felt her back arch as she pressed into his mouth, her hands pulling him tighter to her breast. He heard her softly whispering his name… the same way she had in her sleep that night, the way he heard it in his dreams. The fire of desire burned in his brain, he had to have her. He needed to be in her… now.
He moved swiftly off her, tugging at the shorts that she had worn to sleep in. He yanked them down her legs and tossed them aside before freeing himself from his boxers. He moved swiftly, blindly and entered her. Her cry of surprise penetrated his brain as he penetrated her body but he couldn’t stop. The hot, slick feel of her enveloped him. He needed her, he needed her more than he needed air to breathe. His body began to move. He tried to regain a semblance of control but he was too far gone. He moved faster, harder, plunging into her body, impaling her.
He felt her hands on his shoulders, heard her hoarse cries, heard her urging him to take her, fill her. Her body moved with him, rising to meet him. He was lost in the feeling of her hot, wet flesh surrounding him. He felt her muscles clench around him, her fingers dig hard into his shoulders. Her voice cried out his name as her body convulsed ecstatically. It was his dream, her voice saying his name as she climaxed. Except this time, he didn’t wake up, hard and unfulfilled. This time the sound of her voice brought him to completion as he joined her.
“Sam!” he cried breathlessly as his vision blurred. Weakness enveloped him as his trembling arms gave out and he lowered his weight on her, his hands curling under her shoulders. He felt her arms surround him, her legs, still wrapped around him, tightened. He buried his face in her neck, her damp hair teased his cheek. “Sam,” he whispered.
***
Sam held him tightly. She never wanted to let go. She didn’t want this moment to end. They had broken the regs and she had betrayed Pete but she had never felt so wonderful in her life. She knew she should feel guilty, ashamed of her loss of control, but she couldn’t. All she could think about was the man she held, who held her so tightly and whispered her name with such emotion.
His weight on her was heavy but she relished the feeling. Three weeks of intense sexual frustration had culminated in a feverish, frantic coupling but she had never felt so fulfilled. Tears streamed down her face without realizing it, tears of happiness, of fulfillment, of relief. She didn’t know what would happen now but she needed him. She couldn’t stand the thought of not being with him.
His lips found hers again. This time they were tender and loving. The desperate need that had engulfed them had subsided for the moment. His hands were gentle on her face as she opened her mouth to allow his tongue to tease hers gently. Her arms relaxed around him. He wasn’t going to disappear; she didn’t need to bind him to her so tightly. She let her hands wander up his shoulders until she slid one around to cup his cheek.
His body was still tightly pressed against her and Sam couldn’t keep from moaning into his mouth as his groin rubbed against her still sensitive flesh. He must have realized what was causing that moan as his body began to move deliberately against her.
“Jack,” she moaned as his lips moved down her throat. “Oh, yes,” she whispered.
He didn’t move much but the slight friction was enough to cause her muscles to contract slightly. He was still inside her, softening, but there. She pushed against him, her legs helping to pull him closer and maintain their intimate connection.
His mouth was on her neck, suckling lightly at the juncture of her neck and her shoulder. She moaned softly as his tongue teased her sensitive skin. Her hands explored the length of his back, trailing across the tight muscles and the slick feel of the scars that marred his flesh. He continued to rock slightly against her causing delicious sensations.
“Yes, Jack,” she whispered softly. One hand found his hair and softly wound through the short strands. She began to rock with him, pushing against him. She began to feel the fullness of him responding to her.
***
Jack surprised himself as he felt his erection growing inside her. He hadn’t expected a quick recovery, he just didn’t want to lose contact with her. Slowly, he began to move within her again. This time the near panic wasn’t present.
He watched her face in the dying firelight. Her eyes closed as her body arched against him. Her breath became ragged as she pushed against him. He felt her body tense and contract as she slipped over the edge again. He pressed hard into her groin as she ground against him. Her nails dug into his back as her mouth fell open in a gasp of pleasure. He claimed her lips, his tongue exploring her open mouth.
Slowly, he began to move again as she calmed. Having already climaxed once, he was able to control his own needs. This time, he stroked her slowly with his body, his hands exploring her as they moved. He wanted to touch every part of her, devour her. Not stopping his movement inside her, he kissed and touched every part of her that he could reach.
***
Sam relished the feel of him. His hands, his mouth, his body continued in non-stop movement over her. There were so many sensations that her body was on sensory overload. His hands found her breasts, his mouth followed. His fingers intertwined in her hair and then found their way to her throat. His lips climbed up her breastbone and teased her neck. All the time, his body moved on her, in her.
She gasped as her body responded to him in the only way possible. She could feel it starting again. Tight tendrils of desire pooled in her groin. Three weeks of unfulfilled desire had her body so tightly wound up that she thought her body would explode and now it did. For the third time, her body tensed with the delicious feeling of sexual bliss spreading rapidly through her. She couldn’t stop the loud moan that escaped. It was all she could do not to scream as the glorious sensation flooded her.
Waves of ecstasy spread through her and once again, Jack stopped to hold her as body quaked with delicious fulfillment. His mouth covered hers, swallowing the scream that threatened to erupt.
***
Jack held her tightly. She was so responsive. Her body was convulsing in his arms once again. It did an old man’s ego good to have a beautiful younger woman writhing with satisfaction from his touch. His lips pressed hard against hers, drinking in her moans. His arms slid under her body as he pressed closely against her, feeling her contractions of pleasure.
Her mouth began to respond to his as she came down from the heights. Her tongue sought to explore his mouth as her hands snaked around his neck. Jack started to move again, unable to control the desire to send her into exquisite turmoil once again.
Hoping to build on her last orgasm, he began to move quickly, with long strokes that culminated with intense pressure against her sensitive flesh. He could feel his own desire trying to diminish his control. He tried to concentrate only on her but it wasn’t working. His strokes started to become slightly erratic. He slowed down to try to regain control but Sam obviously had other ideas.
Her hands moved to his hips and began urging him faster. Her voice spoke low as she urged him to join her. He moved quicker, harder. He could feel his need boiling up in him. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer but he wanted her to get there with him. He knew she was close. He only had to last a little bit longer. And then she was there, her body contracting under him, around him, once more. With a low growl of victory, he let his release flow into her, collapsing once again on her body. Holding her tightly as their bodies shuddered with shared delight.
***
Jack woke slowly. There was a warm pressure against his side and on his chest. In the dim early morning light, he saw Sam’s tousled blond hair near his chin. Her head was nestled on his chest, her body pressed close against him, their legs tangled. They had fallen asleep rather quickly, both exhausted by the emotional and physical relief. He wanted to spend the rest of his life waking up to this feeling. He knew the regs were out the window and he wouldn’t do anything to endanger her.
Last night, somewhere in between the door and the bed, he had already made the decision to retire. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought about it before. He wasn’t happy as the head of the SGC. He shouldn’t have accepted the promotion. He was never one for paperwork and the like. If Sam had been free, he wouldn’t have hesitated. But she had been involved with Shanahan and then ended up engaged.
Shanahan… What would happen there now? Jack felt a sudden feeling of panic. What if last night didn’t mean what he thought it did? His eyes closed with a sudden pain in his chest. He tried to swallow the panic that was swiftly rising. He felt her stirring against his side. Trying to calm the sensation and smooth the worry off his face, he forced a smile as she looked up at him.
***
Sam was warm and, for the first time in three weeks, she had slept dreamlessly. Why would she need to dream after last night? It had been incredible. She knew it couldn’t always be that fantastic but even if it was half that good… Her thoughts trailed off as she felt Jack move slightly. She raised her head to look at him, a smile on her face. But something was wrong. Jack’s returning smile seemed forced. She felt anxiety creep over her as she made her smile stay in place but her mind raced with turmoil.
‘Oh, my God,’ she thought. ‘He thinks it was a mistake…’
“Good morning,” he said quietly, watching her face intently.
“Good morning,” she replied. She didn’t know what else to say. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking but she was afraid of his answer. She didn’t have time to make up her mind about what to do before there was a discreet knock on the door.
“Jack. Sam. You awake?” Daniel’s voice caused them to move swiftly from the bed. Sam grabbed her clothes and backpack as she ran for the bathing area. Once there, with the door safely separating her from Jack, she allowed the panic to overcome her. The look on his face… It seemed as if he regretted last night. Was this all a big mistake? Last night, as she fell asleep in his arms, she decided that she would quit the SGC if she had to but she wanted to be with Jack. She had already made up her mind about Pete nearly three weeks ago.
She managed to get her breathing under control. She had to walk out of here as if nothing had happened. The last thing she needed to do was compound the problem with an emotional outburst. She was nothing if not in control of her emotions. She always had been. She could do this. She bathed and dressed quickly. She just wanted to get back to Earth and home. She needed some distance to put this situation in perspective.
***
“Be out in a minute,” Jack answered as he watched Sam duck for cover in the bathing area. His heart felt as if it were literally being ripped from his chest. The forced smile on her face indicated that she thought last night was a mistake. That’s the only thing it could mean. His mind replayed the scene. Her smile seemed genuine when she first looked up at him. Had she forgotten where she was? Who she was with? Was the first smile meant for Shanahan? And the second because she realized where she was and who she was with?
Jack decided to forgo a bath. He’d take one when he got back home. He didn’t want to be in that room when Sam came out. He wanted to be anywhere but in that room when Sam came out.
***
The march back to the gate seemed to take forever. Jack had been gone when Sam came out of the bathing area. She had put on a nonchalant expression as she exited the room but Jack wasn’t in the common area. There were a few of the medical personnel eating food provided by their hosts. Daniel, Teal’c and Jack weren’t around.
All the way back to the gate, Sam avoided looking at Jack. She didn’t know what had happened. Last night, everything seemed perfect. Now she wasn’t sure. That look on his face when she woke up, she just couldn’t figure out what it meant.
***
There was no debriefing. After more than three weeks off world, he knew that everyone wanted to get home. He wanted to get home. He couldn’t think here. He was afraid that he would let his guard down. After contacting General Hammond to let him know that the mission was successful, he headed straight for the locker room to change.
He felt better after a quick shower and now in his civvies. His mind was calmer. He had a long time to think about Sam’s reactions this morning. The hot steam of the shower seemed to bring clarity to that scene that he had missed this morning in his own panic.
Maybe she was reacting to him. Maybe some of that panic showed in his face. After three weeks of close confinement, how could she have not known where she was, whose arms she was in, when she woke up. And what about her dream last week. She had said his name in her sleep in such a way that there was little room for doubt. Followed by her actions after she woke up that night, he knew what she had been dreaming of when she said his name.
Jack decided that he would try to talk to her. They needed to talk even if the outcome wasn’t the one he wanted. He needed to be clear about where she stood with regard to him. Jack didn’t know if she had left the base but he thought he would try her lab first. She would probably go there before leaving. If she had already left, he would call her at home.
He reached the door to her lab to find it dark. A light on her desk was the only illumination. She was sitting there staring at something, something bright and sparkling and in a black velvet box. Jack’s heart skipped a beat. She was obviously thinking about Shanahan. He froze in place, unable to decide what to do now, when he noticed the light reflecting off something else, her face. Her face was wet with tears. She was sitting there crying over her engagement ring. Was it because she had betrayed the man she loved?
His mind once again clouded with turmoil, he backed away from the open door and headed quietly away from her lab. He couldn’t talk to her, not now, not while she was upset. He wanted desperately to know why she was upset. Over Shanahan or over him…
***
Sam thought she heard a noise at her door. She quickly wiped away the tears that streamed down her face as she snapped the black velvet box shut. She turned to find her doorway empty. She needed to get out of here. She didn’t want anyone catching her in her current state of mind. Especially Jack.
She tucked the ring box in her coat pocket. She had already changed into civvies so she headed for the elevator. She needed to go home.
***
Sam pulled up to her house with a sigh of relief. She hadn’t called Pete yet to tell him she was back. She didn’t want to deal with that right now. She had to break things off with him, regardless of whether last night meant anything to Jack or not, she couldn’t keep up with the charade of being engaged to Pete. It wasn’t fair to him. He was a good man that genuinely cared about her. And she did love him, in a way, but it wasn’t the same way that she felt about Jack. She couldn’t marry him so she had to end it. But not now, not today.
A long, hot bath later, Sam curled up on the couch with her first decent cup of coffee in several weeks. Her thoughts wouldn’t slow down as she thought about last night. She tried to use the logic for which she was so well known but her emotions kept getting in the way.
Last night had been incredible. The relief of his arms around her, of his body on her and the feel of him moving in her, was more wonderful than she had ever dreamed. She had been exhausted from the lack of sleep and the intense sexual frustration from three weeks of close contact with Jack. When that door opened and he was standing there so close… Sam gasped from the memory of finding herself in his arms. The intense flare of desire she had felt then ran through her body now leaving her gasping for air.
She leaned her head on the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. Could she have misread the emotion in his voice? Could she have misunderstood the way he touched her? Could it have just been lust he was feeling and not something stronger?
She shook her head slowly. It couldn’t have been. The memories of the way he held her, his voice as his face was buried in her neck. No, last night meant more than just lust. She was convinced of it. But why did he look so panic stricken this morning? She didn’t understand but she had to find out. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost midnight. It would have to wait but not for long.
***
Pete had made a habit of driving by Sam’s anytime he was out during the last three weeks. The SGC would only say that she was on an extended mission but he kept taking the chance that she would be home. Tonight he had worked a double shift, which ended at midnight. It was a little after that now as he drove past her house. To his surprise and relief, her car was parked in front. He slowed down to see her living room lights still on. He wasn’t sure if she was in the mood for company but he could stop to check on her.
***
Sam was pulled from her reverie by the sound of a car door slamming outside. A jolt of hope shot through her. Maybe Jack was having the same thoughts as she was. She moved to the window to look out. Her hope fell to despair as the dim street light showed Pete walking up the sidewalk. She didn’t want to talk to him now but her lights were on so it was obvious that she was here and awake. She sighed heavily as she headed for the door.
“Sam!” he exclaimed as she opened the door. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. “When did you get back?”
She allowed her arms to encircle him lightly. “Earlier today. I would have called but I was really tired. It was a long mission. I can’t really talk about it.”
“I know. I’m just glad that you are back.” His arms tightened around her again and his lips grazed her neck. “Want some company?”
It was all Sam could do to keep from crying. He was a good man and he did love her. She couldn’t let him stay but she couldn’t tell him why right now. She simply shook her head no.
“Okay,” he said as he lifted his head to meet her eyes. For what seemed an eternity, he held hers with his. Sam saw in his eyes confusion and sadness and…doubt? With a gentle kiss on her lips, he released her and turned back to the door. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said as he closed the door behind him.
***
Pete pulled his car away from Sam’s. There was definitely something wrong. He had seen doubt in her eyes before, briefly. He knew that he was rushing things but she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. In spite of her unusual profession, he had found someone that he truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with, someone that could handle his job as well. He had loved his first wife but she could never handle him being a cop. Sam understood the dangers and could accept them. Her job was even more dangerous than his so how could she not.
But tonight there was something more than fleeting doubt in her eyes. There was a profound sadness tinged with regret. Regret for what? He took a deep ragged breath. It was over. He wasn’t sure how he knew that but he felt it instinctively. Something had happened to change her mind about him. That wasn’t correct. It was more that something had made her admit that it wasn’t going to work.
Stopped at a stop sign, he gripped the steering wheel hard and rested his forehead on it. He needed to come to grips with this before it happened. He didn’t want to fall apart when she told him. He needed to display more grace than he had when she had first refused to tell him what she did for a living. He deeply regretted his actions then, leaving her bed in a huff and checking her out with the FBI. And of course, following her to a stake out. He knew it was a bad start but he hoped that it would end well. Now it seemed as if it wouldn’t, at least not for him.
He hadn’t noticed the headlights pull up behind him until the driver honked at him. Slowly, he moved on through the stop sign.
***
Jack sat in the near dark of his living room holding a warm beer staring at the fire. Firelight had always cheered him up but now it just reminded him of Sam. The sight of her sleeping with the firelight reflecting off her blonde hair wouldn’t leave his mind. The feel of her against him, beneath him, haunted his tired heart. She had been so responsive to his touch, so willing, so loving. He had been sitting there for several hours, holding the same beer. He couldn’t even find solace in an alcoholic haze.
His exhausted mind replayed the scene this morning. Her smile had been genuine at first, one of those out shine the sun smiles, but it had rapidly changed. The genuine had turned to forced. As the smile transformed, a look of apprehension had crept into her eyes. Something else was there as well. Doubt? Doubt about their actions from the night before? He could only come back to the same conclusion that he had reached earlier in the shower. She had reacted to the panic in his face.
But every time he came back to this conclusion, the picture of her crying in her lab while looking at her engagement ring flashed into his mind. He sighed heavily as he stood up to stir the fire. His mind was as exhausted as his body. He kept running in circles around the situation when he knew the only answer was to talk to her.
What was she upset about? Why was she crying alone in her lab? His mind started running the circuitous route once again.
“Damn it,” he said to the empty room. “This is ridiculous.” He left the nearly full bottle of beer on the coffee table and headed to his room. Maybe if he went to bed exhaustion would win over confusion.
***
Sam had barely slept, if you could call it that. Her dreams kept weaving back and forth between Pete and Jack. She knew that she had to end it with Pete but she didn’t relish the idea of being alone again. Pete had been good for her in that way. But he wasn’t Jack and she couldn’t pretend that she loved Pete enough to marry him. It wasn’t fair to him. Especially after that night with Jack, she couldn’t continue the charade.
Faint sunlight finally signaled an end to her sleepless night. She sighed heavily as she sat up in bed. She wrapped her robe around her tightly to ward off the morning chill and headed for the kitchen. Coffee and breakfast might help to shake the confusion of the night.
The coffee had just started brewing when there was knock on her front door. Her heart skipped a beat as she thought of Jack. Who else would show up on her doorstep at this hour? Could he have had the same restless night that she had? Could he want answers also?
***
Pete stood waiting for Sam to answer the door. He knew where she kept her key but he didn’t want to use it. He spent the night tossing and turning trying to decide the best course of action. He only came up with one. And he had to implement it quickly.
The door swung open quickly. Sam’s smile slipped rapidly from her face as her eyes met his.
“Sam, we have to talk,” Pete said quietly, not giving her a chance to ask what he was doing here.
Sam just nodded and motioned for him to enter. He watched her as she tightened her robe around her like a shield.
“Coffee?” she asked, her eyes flinched away from his as they briefly met.
“No, this won’t take long.”
Sam nodded as she turned to move down the hall to the kitchen. He felt heart-wrenching sadness as he watched her walk quickly down the hall. He knew it was over. Last night had been clear to him. Her eyes had said everything he needed to know. He didn’t want to wait for her to tell him. She turned and leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at him expectantly.
“Sam, I have to ask you for the ring back. This isn’t going to work between us. I can’t take your job and I don’t think you would want to leave it for a more normal life,” he said quickly. He surprised himself at the calmness in his voice. “I’m sorry but it wouldn’t work anyway.”
Her face registered shock and then, slowly, understanding. He was fooling no one, not her, not himself. She obviously recognized his attempt at saving face but, thankfully, she didn’t voice it. He watched as she walked over to the jacket hanging over the back of the couch. Her hand slipped into the pocket and came out with the small velvet black box.
“I’m sorry, too, Pete,” she said softly as she carefully handed him the box. He noticed that she avoided touching his hand. He wanted to grab her, hold her, beg her, but it wouldn’t do anything but destroy what little dignity he had left. His throat closed tightly on the words he wouldn’t say, couldn’t say.
He turned on his heel and headed down the hallway for the last time and out of her life.
***
Jack slowed down as he spotted Shanahan’s car in front of Sam’s house. He had finally decided early this morning to confront her and ask her the questions that he could find no answer to. He felt a cold hand tighten on his heart as he realized that Pete must have been there all night. It was too early for any other answer. Hands shaking with emotion, he pulled his truck over before he reached the house. He needed to calm down. He had the answer he needed. She wasn’t meant for him.
He stared blindly at her house, eyes moist with regret. He should have done something about their relationship before she found a life elsewhere, before she found someone else. He was so lost in thought that it took a minute to register that Shanahan was walking away from her house. He looked worse than Jack felt.
Strangely mesmerized, Jack watched as Shanahan stopped near his car and looked at something in his hand. It was a small black object, just the size of a ring box. The look of profound sadness that shadowed the man’s face caught at Jack’s heart. Shanahan had come so close to happiness and now he had lost it. Sam had given back the ring.
The icy coldness that had clutched Jack’s heart shattered. He suddenly became ashamed of spying on the heartbroken man. He eased his truck slowly into a nearby driveway and turned around. He didn’t need to see Sam right now. He had part of his answer and the rest could wait. He couldn’t resist a final look in the rearview mirror. He watched as Shanahan got in his car and drove away.
***
Curled in a corner of her couch, Sam sat quietly crying. She felt as if she had led Pete on in a way that she never intended. Things just got out of control, moved too fast. She wished she could turn back the clock and start over. She should have known that she could never make room in her heart for any man other than Jack. She shouldn’t have let things get so out of control. She knew that Pete realized her intentions last night and decided to save himself the pain of her breaking it off. She was glad that she could give him that much.
Out of control… The words wandered back through her mind. She was still out of control but Jack was the cause now. She decided that she would talk to him today. She needed to put her life into order and to do that she needed answers. She stood quickly and headed for the shower.
***
Jack had stopped and picked up groceries. He had nothing in the house after nearly a month off world, at least, nothing edible. Last night he had tried to drink his dinner. It had been almost twenty-four hours since he had eaten anything. After leaving Sam’s house, his appetite had returned in full force. His internal turmoil over her and their situation caused his appetite to flee but now… He turned the bacon in the skillet as his stomach reminded him to hurry.
Since he knew that Sam had broken her engagement he could be patient, for a little while anyway. He tried to think about their options now. He wanted her. He needed her. She was the only good thing in his life now. His job was fulfilling to some degree but it wasn’t the same as being a field officer. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to watching teams leave knowing that he couldn’t go. He could retire. He could definitely retire if he knew that Sam would be with him when she was on world.
He finished piling the bacon on a paper towel to drain. He snagged a couple of pieces to still the growl in his stomach while the eggs cooked. He had just sat down with his food when someone knocked on the door. It would probably be Daniel and Teal’c. They tended to show up when there was food involved. He hurried to the door, not wanting his eggs to get cold.
The surprise on his face had to be evident when he opened the door to find Sam standing there.
“Sam,” he said, his smile broadening. “Come in.”
She stepped through the door hesitantly. He hadn’t expected her so soon but her presence was more than welcome.
“Want some breakfast?” he asked as he closed the door behind her.
“Sure. Smells good,” she said as she shrugged out of her jacket.
He let her lead the way to the kitchen. He enjoyed the sight of her walking in front of him. She was dressed in a pair of well fitting jeans and a light short-sleeved blue sweater.
“Here, sit,” he motioned to his place at the table. “I hadn’t started yet. I’ll make some more eggs.”
“I don’t want…”
“Sit, Sam,” he said softly. “Don’t let the eggs get cold.”
She simply nodded as she sat down. She looked confused, not heart-broken that she was no longer engaged, not traumatized by the events of the last few days, just confused.
“You want some coffee?”
“Yes, please,” she said as she picked up the fork. She was toying with her food as he placed the coffee cup next to the plate.
“Sam, eat it, don’t play with it,” he said as he gently brushed her hair back out of her eyes. She looked up at him startled. He leaned over and planted a light kiss on her forehead. He wasn’t going to let her get away from him this time. “I’ll be right back,” he said softly.
***
Sam was in a state of shock. Jack acted as if it wasn’t unusual for her to stop by this early. He acted as if it was normal for him to be feeding her breakfast. And the touch of his fingers, that gentle kiss. She heard the sound of eggs cracking as he puttered around the kitchen getting another plate.
Slowly a smile began to form on her lips. Did it have to be unusual? Obviously, the other night meant exactly what she first thought it did. Suddenly her stomach decided that food was a good idea. She dug into it with gusto.
***
Jack brought in his plate and sat down at the end of the table near Sam. She seemed more relaxed than she had when she arrived. He tried to keep his smile from turning into a grin as he watched her enjoying her food. He attacked his food with fervor as his appetite had returned with a vengeance. They finished their meal in a companionable silence. Talking could wait until later.
***
Jack had just finished drying the last dish and was placing it in the cabinet when he felt Sam’s arms snake around his waist. He dropped the dishtowel on the counter and covered her hands with his.
They had made small talk while cleaning up the kitchen. Neither of them had wanted to break the mood with talking about serious things. But he knew that the serious talk couldn’t wait. He felt her lean the side of her face against his back.
“Let’s go in the living room,” he said quietly. He felt her nod against his back. He turned around as she released her hold on him. She smiled gently as he ran his fingers against her cheek. He let his hand fall only to catch hers and lead her from the kitchen.
***
Sam let him lead her to the living room. He pulled her down onto the couch with him and slipped an arm around her shoulder. She sighed contently as she snuggled her face into his chest. She hadn’t slept well last night and the food combined with the warmth of his body next to her made her sleepy. It didn’t hurt that she had her answers. She didn’t know how they would handle the logistics of this relationship but she knew there was a relationship. And that’s all she needed right now.
“Sam,” he whispered softly. “We still need to talk.”
She smiled at his words. It was as if he had read her mind. “I know,” she answered as she tried to stifle a yawn. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
She felt a slight chuckle rumble through his chest. “Neither did I,” his voice said softly.
She snuggled deeper into his arms.
“I hate to spoil the mood but what about Pete,” he said gently.
She felt his arms tighten around her in response to the tension in her body. “He came by late last night. I told him that I was tired and needed to rest. I guess he figured out that something was wrong. He came back early this morning and asked for his ring back.”
“And you are alright with that?” She could hear the tension creep into his tone.
“Yes, I had made up my mind at the beginning of our mission to 482 that I was going to break things off with him.” She felt his arms tighten on her again. She looked up to see the relief in his eyes. “I knew that it was wrong to marry him when I was still in love with someone else.”
His eyes clouded over slightly as his lips curled into a smile. “In love with someone else?” he asked softly.
“Have been for years… I should have never let things get that far. He’s a good person and I know I hurt him. He didn’t deserve that.” She snuggled her face into his chest again, a yawn escaping into the front of his shirt. “I’m so sorry. I can’t seem to stop yawning!”
“It’s my lively personality.”
She smacked him lightly on the arm. “You know it’s not that.” She laughed as he tried to stifle a yawn of his own. “What a pair we make!”
“Yeah,” he said as he pulled away from her and stood up. “Come on,” he said as he offered her his hand. “We could both use some sleep.”
Sam sighed as his arm slipped around her shoulders as they walked to his bedroom. She watched as he rummaged through one of his dresser drawers before he turned and tossed her a t-shirt several sizes too large for her. “You’ll be more comfortable in that.”
She nodded her understanding. She turned her back to him as she pulled off her sweater and bra. She almost laughed aloud at her sense of modesty. The night before last was still so fresh in her memory but she found that she couldn’t just strip in front of him. She slid the t-shirt over her head before she slipped off her shoes and removed her jeans.
He was already in the bed when she turned back around. The jeans that he had been wearing were tossed into a nearby chair. She threw her clothes over his before she crawled in bed beside him. His arms pulled her close to him. She didn’t have much time to relish the feeling before she drifted off to sleep. The last thing she remembered was his voice, soft and gentle.
“I love you, too, Sam.”
***
Jack woke slightly disoriented. The sun was in the wrong part of the sky for morning and he was on the wrong side of the bed. There was also a distinct warmth lining his back and a long slim leg thrown over his hip. A slender arm was draped over his waist.
He chuckled softly as memory flooded back. Sam was definitely a snuggler. He didn’t want to move but he would have to soon. His bladder was being rather insistent on that point. Fortunately, her arm and leg slipped off him as she stretched into awareness.
“Morning,” she said sleepily as she put her arm back around him.
“More like afternoon,” he said as he played with her fingers.
“Afternoon?”
“Yeah, almost evening. We seem to have slept all day.”
“Making up for lost time, I guess.”
“About three weeks of lost sleep.”
She chuckled softly into his back before stretching again. “I’ll be right back,” she said as she slipped out of bed. He rolled over to see her disappear into his bathroom. Taking advantage of her absence, he crawled out of bed and headed to the hall bathroom. Taking care of his immediate needs he decided to use one of the new toothbrushes he kept there for whenever guests stayed over. Washing his face and brushing his teeth helped to wake him up more.
Staring at his image in the mirror, he smiled at the irony of the day. He’d had Sam in his bed for the last eight hours and had done nothing but sleep. Well, he could always make up for a different kind of lost time. He headed back to the bedroom with very non-platonic thoughts in mind only to find the bedroom and bathroom empty. He glanced at the chair that held their clothes. Hers were still there so she was wandering around his house in his t-shirt. He really liked that idea.
Turning down the hallway, noise from the kitchen gave him clues as to her whereabouts. He entered the kitchen to find her head stuck in his refrigerator, reaching for something in the back. The t-shirt she wore had ridden up as she stretched, presenting him with a lovely view of her satin covered backside. He leaned against the counter to take in the view.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” her voice came from the refrigerator just before she straightened up and turned around.
“Yeah, and I appear to be getting rusty at stealth tactics by flying a desk,” he laughed. He saw what she had retrieved from his refrigerator, a couple of bottles of water.
“Thirsty,” she said as she opened one and drank long from it. He admired the line of her neck as she drank. He watched as the muscles of her throat moved with each draw of water. A grin formed on her face as she moved the bottle away from her mouth.
“Want some?” she asked as she offered him the second bottle. A mischievous glint was in her eyes.
“Yeah,” he growled softly as he wrapped his fingers around the wrist of her outstretched arm. He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. “But I don’t mean water,” he whispered near her ear.
“Neither do I,” she replied as her lips, chilled by the water, nuzzled his neck.
He gasped as her cold tongue flicked lightly against his collarbone. He heard the water bottles fall on the counter behind him as her arms tightened around him. Her mouth was doing things to his neck that kept him distracted until her cold hands found their way under his shirt and onto his bare back.
“Aw! You did that on purpose!” he yelped as she pulled away laughing, running for the hallway. He took off in pursuit to see her turn quickly into the bedroom. As he got closer, he realized there was something lying near the bedroom door. Leaning over, he retrieved the t-shirt that she had been wearing moments ago. A grin spread quickly across his face as he turned into the room.
The sight took his breath away. There wasn’t much sunlight left but the there was enough to highlight her pale skin. She was stretched across his bed on her stomach facing the door, her head propped up on her hands near the edge. Her satin covered bottom was covered no more.
***
Sam watched him as he paused in the doorway. The look on his face was one of wonder, love and lust all combined into the most sensuous sight she had ever seen. She smiled at him and beckoned with one hand for him to join her. He walked slowly toward the bed, stripping off his t-shirt on the way. Instead of joining her on the bed, he knelt at the edge near her head.
Sam patted the bed beside her to no avail. He remained kneeling beside the bed. She wondered what was going on in his mind. The look on his face was so intense. Suddenly, she felt embarrassed at her impulsive strip tease. Maybe she should have waited.
His smile returned slowly as his fingers tenderly stroked the side of her face. The light trails of warmth down her face reassured her. Slowly, he leaned forward, his lips softly caressed her forehead. Sam held her breath as he moved down to her eyelids. She felt his other hand on her neck and then his fingers wound through her hair. His lips moved to her temple and slowly, gently, his kissed made there way down her jaw.
Her heartbeat sounded loud in her ears as his lips finally met hers. His kiss was so tender that it brought tears to her eyes. She felt as if he were a supplicant worshipping her rather than a man approaching his lover.
“Jack,” she whispered.
“Shhh, don’t talk. Just let me love you.”
She sighed at his whispered words. Slow nipping kisses encouraged her lips open. His tongue slowly explored her mouth, tangling languorously with hers. She moved her hand to his wrist, wanting to touch him, wanting more of him than just his lips. She tugged gently, urging him closer as she pulled herself to her knees in front of him.
She smiled as a lustful grin appeared on his face. She had inadvertently placed her breasts level with his face. One of his arms wrapped around her as his mouth found a conveniently placed nipple. His other hand was left free to roam. She gasped as his fingers slipped between her thighs and began to tease her gently.
“Oh, Jack,” she whispered against his hair, her arms wrapped around his neck. She felt her knees go weak as his exploring fingers penetrated her, his talented thumb rubbing her strategically. Her weight sagged into him as her desire for him increased.
His inquisitive fingers and questing tongue slowed to a stop as she felt him lowering her to the bed slowly. She watched as he removed his boxers before lying next to her. With his head supported by one hand, his other hand moved over her skin, stopping to tease the places that made her gasp.
She could feel the heat of his arousal pressed against her thigh as he continued exploring. She felt his hand falter as she reached down to grasp him firmly. His eyes rolled slightly back in his head as she began to stroke him.
“Sam,” he whispered. His attempt to speak turned into a moan as she tightened her grip on him. She turned over to face him, not releasing her grip on him, and began to use her mouth to explore his neck. His hand tightened on her waist as she suckled the sensitive skin just above his collarbone.
Slowly, she pushed him over onto his back and covered his chest with kisses. She savored the rough texture of the hair on his chest as her tongue sought out his nipple.
***
Jack found himself on his back with Sam’s mouth doing all manner of interesting things to his chest. Her hand kept a steady motion in even more interesting places. He found breathing had become difficult. A series of gasps managed to get some oxygen to his lungs but there wasn’t much left over to get to his brain. He felt lightheaded as her mouth moved lower to tease his navel.
Slowly, the hot wetness that was her tongue moved past his navel, lower and lower until he felt her breath on his erection. He was all but immobilized with anticipation for her next move. He didn’t have to wait long. He gulped at the insubstantial air trying to breathe as he felt her tongue circle the tip of his length slowly.
“Oh, god, Sam,” he moaned as wet heat encircled him. More and more of his length was slowly surrounded by wetness. His hands flailed in the air, trying to find something to hold on to. They finally came to rest on her soft hair as he felt the coolness of air rush around him as her head rose, meeting his hands. The sensation didn’t last long as her mouth moved back down his length and he was once again engulfed by wet heat.
His mind was spinning with the sensation of her tongue teasing as she moved up and down his length. Too soon, far too soon, he could feel the pressure building in him that indicated an impending conclusion to this unbelievable feeling.
“Sam, please,” he moaned as his fingers tightened in her hair. “Too much…”
***
Sam took her time with the last stroke as his entangled fingers pulled at her hair. She wanted to keep going but she also wanted more. So slowly, she ran her tongue along his length as she moved away from him and kissed her way back up his stomach to his chest. His arms wrapped around her tightly holding her still against him.
“Oh, god, almost too much,” he breathed as she felt him shudder with unfulfilled need. As much as she wanted to feel him inside her, she knew he was fighting for control and she lay quietly as he struggled.
As she felt his breathing steady and his arms loosen around her, she allowed her hands to run across his chest slowly. She stopped to tease his nipples causing sharp gasps from him.
“Sam, you’re gonna kill me. You know that, don’t you?”
“Not just yet,” she giggled. “I’m not done with you yet.”
“Okay, that sounds promising,” he laughed slightly.
Sam moved out of the circle of his arms and to her knees. She grinned down at her lover as she straddled his hips. “Definitely promising,” she said as she once again grasped his erection. This time she slowly guided him into her depths. She watched as his eyes closed with desire. His mouth gaped open as he struggled to breathe.
Once he was deep inside her, she leaned forward to capture his mouth, her tongue exploring his mouth as his erection explored her body. His hands found her hips and steadied her as she began to move. Their mouths locked as their bodies were joined. The slow languorous prodding of his tongue heightened the exquisite sensation of him filling her.
Slow steady movement soon wasn’t enough. She tried to move faster without losing his mouth but overwhelming need soon took over. Pulling away from his mouth, she moved faster, rising and falling, impaling herself as she steadied herself with her hands splayed across his chest. His hands moved from her hips and added the sensation of his fingers on her breasts to her already desire-consumed body.
“Jack,” she breathed. “Oh, God, yes… so close…”
***
Her barely whispered words inflamed him further. He tried to thrust to match her rhythm but her movements were becoming erratic. Quickly, he took control, pulling her close to him and flipping her easily. He felt her hands grasping desperately at his shoulders. He began to plunge quickly, thrusting into her with hard steady strokes as her cries increased.
“Yes, Jack,” she panted. “Now… Jack… oh, yes, now…”
Her words drew him to the boiling point as her body clamped around him. Her legs tightened as he felt his control flee in the face of her obvious pleasure. Another hard stroke and he filled her with his own climax. Her arms pulled his weight down on her, wrapping around him as they both shuddered with the aftereffects of their passion. His face found its favorite spot in her neck.
Their sweat slicked bodies cooled rapidly in the early evening air. Jack reached over to pull the covers over them. It took all the strength he had left. He knew he had to be heavy on her but he didn’t think he could move. Her hands caressed his back, running up to his sweat soaked hair and back down. Her lips nuzzled his neck.
If he died right now, he would be happy. Nothing could compare to the warmth and love he felt in her embrace. He needed nothing else from life. He knew that retirement was the right answer to their situation. He was tired of being alone, of watching her and wanting her and not being able to do anything about it. He could leave the program knowing that he had done his fair share to make the world safe. His arms tightened on her as the decision he made two nights ago was confirmed in his mind.
“What are you thinking about?” she said softly in his ear.
“Us,” he whispered before nuzzling her neck gently.
“Back to the serious stuff, huh?”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “But I have it sorted out already.”
“You do?” she said with a little indignation in her voice. “Just like that?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Just like that.”
“And what is this brilliant plan of yours?”
“I made up my mind the other night that I was going to retire.”
Her hands pulled his head away from her neck. Her eyes locked with his. “You can’t. You’re needed at the SGC.”
“No, I’m not.” He rolled off her to lie beside her. “I can be replaced easily.” He pressed his fingers to her lips to stop the protest she was about to make. “There were several other people that were looked at to take over the SGC before I was given the chance. Sam, I’m not happy with the job. I haven’t been since I took it. You know me. I don’t like paperwork and bureaucracy.”
“Then why did you take it in the first place?”
“I needed off SG1. My knees are just about shot. If I kept up that kind of pace, I’d either endanger the team or end up not being able to walk at all. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I didn’t want to retire. Not then. There was nothing for me outside of the mountain. Now, there is. At least, I hope there is.”
He watched in the near darkness as her blue eyes welled up with tears. She simply nodded, unable to speak.
“Good. Then it’s settled. I’ll start the paperwork as soon as I get back to the mountain.” He leaned forward to kiss her lightly. “Then we can talk some more serious stuff.”
***
Sam watched without hearing much of the speeches that signaled Jack’s retirement. The President, the new Vice-President and General Hammond all spoke before Jack got up to say his farewells. Whatever he was saying elicited laughs from most of those present but Sam couldn’t tell you what he said. Her mind was thinking ahead to the next week. Jack had cajoled her into taking leave so he could finally take her fishing. Their bags were packed and in his truck, ready to go.
She was so happy she couldn’t think clearly. After so many years of wanting him, they were together. This morning he had presented her with a ring. It was on her finger now. Although, General Hammond was aware of the change in their relationship, she didn’t think it was appropriate to shout it from the rooftops until after Jack was officially retired. But that’s exactly what she wanted to do. Shout from the rooftops that she was engaged. So different a feeling from when Pete had asked her to marry him.
Sam lowered her head as she smiled to herself. She didn’t give Jack a chance to finish the question before she gave her answer. A resounding yes, of course, followed by some rather memorable sex! She gasped slightly at the memory. Daniel looked a little askew at her but he already knew about the engagement. So did Teal’c. She had to tell someone! God, she missed Janet. Janet would have been the first to know.
Applause interrupted her thoughts and she looked up to see Jack looking at her with an amused look on his face. Amid the handshaking and backslapping that engulfed him, he kept looking over to find her. She watched, content with staying on the sidelines, until she felt a hand on her shoulder. General Hammond’s voice whispered in her ear.
“About time you two worked this thing out! Congratulations, Sam.”
She turned to look up at the General standing behind her. “Thank you, sir.”
She hadn’t noticed Jack moving around to where she was until he was just behind the General.
“General Hammond, sir, mind if I borrow my fiancée? We have plans for this evening.”
Sam bit her lip to keep from laughing as several heads turned at his words. It wouldn’t take long for the entire SGC to know now. So much for shouting it from the rooftops. The grapevine around here moved faster than matter through a wormhole. She just laughed as eyes and lowered voices followed them as they left the room.
Once in the relative privacy of the elevator, Jack pulled her close to him. His lips gently pressed against her forehead.
“Regrets?” she whispered.
“Never,” he said as his lips found hers.
THE END
